I would like to extend my thanks and gratitude to those at MR for offering this forum and all forum members.
The past 13 months have been very difficult for me and my children. In Feb 06 my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. It was a devastation blow. The past year of her treatments and operations was very trying. She did finally pass peacefully on March 29, 07. This Forum and all of you has been a peaceful oasis to get away from it all, even if only for a few minutes each day.
I apologize if throughout the year some posts or replies may have seemed curt or short. All you great fellow MR and the support of the members of my club (South Shore Model RR Club) have helped me though this year of tragedy. I can’t thank you enough for just being there.
[angel] Thoughts and prayers for you and your dearly departed wife. [angel]
There are many of us who frequent the Trackside Diner in this general forum and we often provide a sounding board, a shoulder, and even add folks to prayer lists around the world when times are tough, you are welcome to join in any time. Most of the time we are just having a bull session, or as we would say in south Louisiana “Laisse le bonne temps roule”, which means “Let the good times roll”
Bob, you have my condolences on your loss. I lost one of my best friends to cancer about ten years ago and it still hurts. I’ve also lost three of my four grandparents to cancer and I nearly lost my mother to it. She fought her way back and is recovering. I thank God for that.
I am so sorry to hear about your dear wife. How old are your kids? Are they still at home or out of the house?
I will definitely be praying for you and your family in the days and months ahead. I’m glad you can find an oasis and respite here on the forum. Bob, I hope that you’ll read and find much solace in Psalm 34:18.
With a heavy heart for you and your family at this time,
My kids are still living at home even though the 2 oldest are in college. They are 17, 19 and 21. We all have had the last year to accept the fact that ,April, my wife only had 3-4 years. Inoperable tumors and other complications shut down her liver function and she ended up having only days. We are doing rather well with her passing. It was peaceful and had no pain at all. Continued efforts to continue her life would only have made quality of life miserable and could have been ugly. Her involvement in church, school and band, soccer (coach), womans groups and all the many people who she touched throughout her life are here to help us and offer their support. She is in a better place now, and “We” are now the ones that are waiting.
Bob, you have a fine chorus of voices wishing you well. There are few things more powerful than kind words from people with genuine understanding and empathy. So, if I could add my voice to them, please know that I can sense the disappointment in your message…it hurts when someone you love can’t hang on, and when you realize that you can’t hang on either…as bitterly as you want to.
That it was pain-free must have been something to be so grateful for, something that made her passing seem a bit more dignified, if such a passing can ever be dignified in words or in fact.
Bob,
You know we’re there for you. I don’t know how to express my condolences enough.
I’m proud of how many of our fellow club members made it to the wake. I know I was surprised as anything to see Dick Koz. there all the way from New York. If there’s any truth to size of the wake being equal to the greatness of the person, April must have been very special indeed because I’ve never seen so many people attending one of these. Ever. I waited in line over an hour for the honor of shaking your hand, Bob, and the line was still out the door and across the parking lot when I left.
Life can be cold and cruel, but it makes one appreciate the good times we do have even more. May we all remember only the good times…
Bob, what more can I add, other than my own personal prayers and good wishes and condolences to you and your family. This past weekend my wife and I attended a benefit for a high school friend of hers. 6 weeks ago he had not a care in the world. Today he is facing advanced liver and pancreas cancer with only a few months to go. Hundreds showed up to show support and love. So many people leave this world not really knowing the impact that they have had and the lives that they have touched. It sounds like your wife touched many, and the love and affection with which she was held in comes over from posts like Paul’s. Be strong for those teenagers of yours, they will perhaps need it more than anyone.
I wanted to explain briefly, wife had upper torso (The filters are draconian so I had to subistute words) cancer at stage three. We basically lost a year and endured chemo, surgery and are dealing with the physical costs of the treatment. For example her Bones suffered loss but she loved Dairy products and is above average.
The Cancer is a vicious and uncompromising enemy. It can be beaten, put into remission or otherwise dealt with. For us it means getting estates, cremations, affairs etc all in order. With all of that settled plus DNR order and other associated decisions so that if the doctors find cancer again they will understand exactly what not to do.
It has made us leaner and meaner as the USMC likes to say, it did great damage but did not break us. We continue to live each day for whatever our futures bring and have a little fun along the way. As for me, I have had a few incidents over the road in the past where it should have cost me my life but… not just yet.
The biggest thing is to live and die on your terms. Your way. Not everyone gets to go out the way they would like. Some go out screaming; others drift away. We must enjoy what we like to do and work for our living as much as we can. If the day comes for you and it’s time to go, then go without regrets or baggage. If you wait until then to do something it may be too late.
Enjoy the hobby, it tends to be a saving factor in a world of stress and troubles.
Please allow me to express my sincere condolences as well. I, too, understand very well what you are going through-having lost my dad to colon cancer several years ago. What a blessing that your wife’s passing was pain-free. You and your family are in my prayers. Take care.
Bob, I offer my condolences along with all the others. I never percieved any of your posts as being “curt” or “short”, I didn’t have a clue that you were dealing with this! I’ll keep you and your children in my prayers.
Bob–my sincere condolences to you and your family. I don’t know if this will help, but in my dealing with the personal grief of loss of family members, I have found out more often than not, that God tends to close doors, only to open windows.
The Peace of God be with you and your family. We’re all here for you.