The wife an me live in a trailer down by the train tracks. Now bein a railfan and all, I get as excited as long tailed cat in a room fulla rocking chairs whenever a train comes a rolling by. My wife however, don’t like trains. No mam’ not one bit and hollers at me everytime one comes by and blasts it’s horn at the grade crossing in the backyard. And now she says she going to leave and git a deevorce if we don’t move. It’s her or the trains she said. So the question is, if we get a deevorce, how we supposed to be towards each other at family reyunions, bein cousins and all?
The other day I was railfanning at Tehachapi. After I swatted away all the babe railfan groupies, I laid down between the rails hoping to get a cool shot of a UP train as it passed over the top of me. Before the train arrived however, the RR police came and detained me, saying I was tresspassing. Who will stand up for America? What about my rights? What can I do to end this tyranny? The RR police KeeP Harrierassing me every time I try to get a good shot like this!
As the Mook’s adopted brother (actually I adopted her as my sister), I don’t know what to say here. I think that SJ is absolutely the right person to write an advice column–on more than one occasion she has come up with exactly the right words, and right advice, for me.
She can be the funniest person I know, too. But let’s not waste time with the BS. I’m sure SJ has valid opinions about just about anything you’d want to ask or tell her. And, if you’re nice, she might share them with you. If she has time, that is–the poor lady’s also got an office to run, and that’s where her computer is.
The other day I was railfanning, hoping to catch the UP 4141 (as UP 8423) under a tarp headed south towards it’s untarping…a dumb civilian called the police on me and they responded (only to find out that it was my neighbor). What do you think I should do to educate this slackjaw moron (civilian) about our hobby?
Awhile back, a friend and I were riding the rails in search of adventure. We were riding in an empty aluminum coal car and had stooped in a yard in Houston. While I was busy typing away on my WiFi connected laptop, some jerk conductor had the enginner kick the train really hard causing us to fly all over, breaking my laptop, spilling my Starbucks and ruining a really expensive pair of cargo pants. Then he had the gall to call the RR police who arrested us. Should I sue the railroad for this treatment?
Dear Mookie,
I was railfanning up at Tehachappi with a few friends the other day. We were having a good time till this clown showes up and scared my girlfriends away. After that he goes screwing around between the rails. It wasn’t long before the cinder *** shows up. He procedes to declare his rights, yelling things like “I’m standing up for America” and “Why do you keep harrassing me”. I thought for sure he was going to jail but he didn’t. What he did do is tick the cop off. This cop, now quite agitated, decided to harrass all the railfans in the area, myself included. My question to you Mookie is what can I do to rid the area of this type of rif-raf? I feel like driving to LA and finding this guy to kick his *** for giving railfanns a bad name.
Sunday, November 19 - EVERYBODY go to Lincoln (Applebees?) about 6PM …watch the chocolate cat fur and muddy feathers fly! Driver & BossHen (plus the terrier whiskey ad) will be shaking their heads and looking for a good stiff drink.
I can’t find the House Automatic Self Cleaning Button. What do I do?
Does the dishwasher have this feature–Automatic load and unload-- if so I can find it either? I have run out of real dishes and the paper plates are almost gone, and Wal Mart is now closed. What is this poor guy to do?