Had hopes for love derailed.....emotionally blue-flagged.......

Trains Magazine General Discussion
1

Well…recently I got a nasty shock. The girl that I fancied…that I had hopes for…she’s still a good friend, but she now has a boyfriend. I wi***hem the best…I saw the boyfriend, he’s cool…and stuff…but part of me…inside…I still feel…

…has exploded in my heart!

Although I’m recovering…I’ve lost much sleep…and I sometimes sink into depression.
Also…I feel kind of like I’m…condemned…I’m strictly “best friend” material…I’m Boyfriend Lite…I’m Diet Boyfriend…just one calorie of relationship…I’m the replacement bus service of the Boyfriend Express…I’m the Viewdiner of the boyfriend dining cars…I’m the Alco switcher in the world of DDX90’s and SD75MACs.

Sorry about that…had to vent steam!

PS does anyone have any links for sites to hear train airhorns? Maybe that might cheer me up…airhorns are more effective than Prozac!

2

Sorry to hear of your situation.

I know how you feel, REALLY. But I won’t go there.

It will take time, but time does heal most wounds.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, Hat, AND Coffee Mug.

I will “see” you in msn chat.

Take Care.

3

Air Horns, try this link.

http://atsf.railfan.net/airhorns/

Enjoy [:)]

4

You poor thing - you need a really good dose of train watching! I would invite you to Nebraska, but it is a little far. By the way - is that a Dash 9 in the picture - right after it goes “Whoop”? (My apologies, but not much of them, to the GE lovers!)

5

raakone,

You will feel bad, but why think that you are at fault?

It may be your girlfriend who has made the mistake!

And what’s wrong with Alco switchers, anyway! If you look after them, they run well, last a long time, and use less fuel than an EMD.

Think positively (or less negatively, if that’s easier)

Peter

6

It hurts but don’t be discouraged! [V] You will move forward! [;)]

Not trying to be insensitive, but I do understand to a degree what you may be feeling. Keep active. One thing I used to joke to myself when a potential “relationship” fell through is that today there are more women than men in general, someone special is out there.

**Continue to be a good person, but in the future don’t be afraid to be a little more “aggressive” if you’re interested in a person. By aggressive I mean talk, joke, and socialize.**When you find a young lady that responds positively with your approach then that is an opportunity to make a “new friend”. Yes, you still have to be a friend first.
I used to be quite shy, but I discovered that I was a “closet comedian” when alone or with one of my buddies, I could be as sarcastic as Eddie Murphy
(minus the trashy language).

When you do become interested in someone “casually” find out there backgrounds.
For example: If you’re into country and top 40, and she’s a punker, rap, or gothic fan (yikes!) then no matter how sweet she is, chances are it might not work out. If you’re into going to the beach, park, or model railroad shows and she’s into raves, tatoos and hanging at the mall well…you get the picture. Many guys here have been in similar situations.

Stay true to yourself and absolutely DON’T CHANGE. I noticed that in high school females wouldn’t give me a 2nd glance. After high school, I was being “hit on” left and right!

Just keep living and keep it real, Amigo!" You’re O.K!

7

Antonio - the driver sez when he was in high school, the girls ran the other direction. Now that he is bald, and has a white moustache and is too old to run and has no interest - the girls flock to him! Aint’ life grand!

Mook

8

I don’t want to pretend i knew Eveyrhing abotu Relationships, because i don’t

I know this though, If i had a nickel for every time i was in your situation, i’d be stinkin rich, If i had a Quarter pounder with cheese very time i heard that and a nckely, i’d be rich and fat, If i had banana, quarter pounder with cheese and a nickkelf every time that ahppened to me, I’d be rich fat, and livin better the Donkey kong.

You get my Drift…

I’m a firm believer that Distraction is key. I don’t want to sound mena, but your life is moving on as we speak, I understand what has happend the first time it happend to me.

I know your probobly questioning If it was you; I can tell you it’s not, look women when they are 16 years old are Fru Frus, like fruit flys, they can never make up their mind what they want.

the girll beside my lcoker, she must be 18 at lats, new boyfriend every day… I kid you not, it is disgusting

So stop thinking it’s you- 've been dumped, then the next day the girl dats the Captain of the football team GGGGRRRRRRRRR… if only you knew how much that pissed me off!!

I did for a while, I hope they are doing fine (deep down i don’t)

Remmeebr, don’t bottle up how you feel inside- I know you don’t wi***hey were doing fine, heck you might wish he would break his ankel tommorow, or whatever. Don’y put a false image about you… Yell at somehting, perhaps a wall, release your anger- perferably when no one is around.

I know this one is common too, and relates to the above: don’t tell yourself how you should feel. If you don’t like it, hate it to be exact, don’t lie to yourself.

So remmebr

  1. express how you feel
  2. Don’t tell yourself how you should feel

Ps., you don’t really like that guy do you? If you did, i’d say your the first person in history to actually like the person whos dating your best firend/ girlfirend, whatever she was.

9

Dude, Harsh!

I’m assuming your still a young man and that you havent been in any serious relationships yet. From the tone of the letter itas sounds like a High School Thing but even if your older it still applies.

Some advice from someone who’s been down this garden path when I was younger,

1st -ITS NOT YOU FAULT! Young girls are as flighty as a mosquitos, and almost as annoying.

2nd-Now that she has a boyfriend, DONT BE A FRIEND and DONT HANG AROUND.

Its cool to be civil and friendly and say “Hi” and all that, but under no circumstances allow yourself to become the BEST FRIEND! The only person who get messed over by that is YOU.

MOVE ON.

Let her have her boyfriend but DO NOT spend time with them if she has been jerking you around or leading you on. Keeping you as a Best Freind is a defense mechanism in case the primary boyfriend blows up she has a fallback on you to keep her occupied until the next “Boyfriend” comes along then you’ll be booted back to second class status. or worse, she’ll use you as her “therapist” and call to complain about everything wrong her boyfriend and ask you why are guys like this.

Trust me this is BS and you dont deserve to do it to yourself.

Some girls who have NO interest in you will want to be “freinds” so they dont feel bad about rejecting you. I learned to say “Screw This”, if a girl wasnt interested then I wasnt interested anymore either. I actually got more interest from girls when after being rejected me I later just blew them off with a casual disregard (“Oh cant we just be friends?”, “Uhhh…No”).

If she’s at all interested, breaking off contact will determine this far better than hanging around. If she asks why, tell her. " I was interested, you have a boyfriend now so I aint hanging around" its far better to be honest.

Besides YOU need to move on, Get busy with the things you like to do, Dont be worried about crap, it happened

10

on the flip side of it it could be like us older married couples who say if she leave me i go and party… marrage is like a hot bath once your in it … its not so hot. etc. and my favorite that always got my spirits up. if you gonna play you are gonna pay. it may seem har***o talk like this but reality dictates what happens roll with it. and while you are getting back on your feet look around the girls know you are not attached anymore, and are on display for you to chose. this is why we can say these things we learned. listen to all the voices of reason and exsperance. now with that being said go out there and get one they are all good.

11

Wabash1

I agree with you except for your closing statement “They’re all good”. Unfortunately in our “LIberalized” American society, many of our young women and men no longer have the solid morals and values that was the common fabric of our society. It’s taken for granted. Persons of good moral character have to be careful and not plunge in to relationships so quickly.[8)]

I’ve met young men and women that have absolutely no qualms about leaving a relationship for selfish, materialistic, or status concious reasons. [V]

12

raakone- Look your single now, the single life is great! your free to Glare and Stare as much as you want and Noy have to worry about being told to stop, or getting the evil eye, And if your caught by the girl your staring at, who the hell cares? I’ve been caught a handfull of times, and i keep saying, If you don’t want me to look, put on somehting not so revealing. Its a fact, and it’s life.

There are a lot of things the single life can bring you that an attached life can’t.

I agree 187% with Vic, he’s a great guy and is right in this situation, like most. I’ve been the therapist many times before, It sucks, really.

I avize you, don’t be like me, Revenge is not sweet, and it comes back to biught your butt, don’t be like me in that regard.

13

Dude,

Let you in a something,
if you didnt light her fuse, then she surely wont be the one lighting yours in a year.
Might be fun for a year or two, but if you aint what she was looking for, trust me, she will keep on looking, with you as a side dish, and you will keep on looking too.
Makes for a really rought relationship.
Friends?
Not a change.
If she values you so little that she wants to keep you around as a friend(back up boyfriend) the she has little or no respect for you, or herself.
If she needs to keep a spare on hand, what she is selling must not have that must value, even in her own eyes.

Shake their hands, tell em “good luck” change your phone number, and walk away.

Somewhere out there is the lady your looking for, looking for you just as hard.
And she will find you, or vice versa, in the oddest place, at the weirdest time, under strange circumstances, when both of you lest expect it.

Heck, the first time I saw my wife, I threw her out of my store, she was such a rude smartaleck, beyond belief.

After 17 years, she still is a smartaleck at times, but shes my smartaleck.
How did we make it 17 years, three kids and a few dogs later?
Respect and trust.
Get both of those from someone, and give back them in equal quanities, then real love, not lust, infatuation, or fancy, will follow.

The kind of love that last through the toilet seat being left up, the cap left off the toothpaste, pantyhose on the shower rod, and all the little crap that eats marriages up.

So, if she didnt respect you enough to be straight forward at the beginning, then she aint the one anyway…

And if she didnt pick up on how you felt in the first place, then…
I was interested enough in Aimee to throw her out of the store, and she was interested enough to come back the next day, to see if I would do it again.

Ed

14

hello buddy,

When you mentioned feeling like a Alco switcher
you must be the best as we all know any Alco switcher as the RS-23
can out muscle any big over powering EMD.you are too the man
to be set on the siding by some white flag extra as you are the special
high ball.

By the way love has no reason for Red lights

15

Sorry that ur mst recent love has been Bad-Ordered. Hope you recover and make many posts with us in the future, and listin to some K5LAs on that horn site. [;)]

16

raakone,

[C):-)] Time to turn on the stereo and plug in some Garth Brooks. Listen to “Unanswered Prayers”. That song would make you feel better and it is certainly true in my life. I used to fancy several different girls at diferent times through highschool, and I thought myself never to find someone, but your day will come. Now I’m married to my soulmate and we couldn’t be happier! Just be yourself and let things work out on their own. Hang in there!

17

If she didn’t like trains, it was no real loss.[swg]

After 14 years of marriage my wife decided she wanted out. I had no choice but to deal with it, so I went out and had FUN. Then I met someone new. Now, she even likes trains. Maybe some of you have seen her here. Big_Girl_4005!!! She is just fun to be with, just one of the guys, except where it counts. Best of both worlds!!![;)]

Check out the topic Bummer for a Railfan by Jhhtrainsplanes.

18

Women will lead you astray from the path of righteousness and purity…

So join up with the other members of the He Man Women Haters Club and smoke camels, drink scotch and martinis and watch war movies (older ones …where the only women in the cast were nurses…unless its Private ryan or Band of Brothers)…then get back in the game when your ready…

…or just go buy a jacked up 4X4 and run over their cars…

19

Another reason to like Trains!

oh and lets not forget…

“If she didn’t like trains, it was no real loss.”

If thats not the quote of the century (any century), I don’t know what is.

20

Darn it, Dan,

Just when I was getting used to being unrightous and un pure, you gotta go bring 4X4s into it also…

Ed