I don’t know if it’s just me or not, but it seems that being polite to people is a fading practice. More and more I notice posts wanting information about one thing or another and the information is given. Yet there isn’t a thank you, or anything of the like. Also there seems to be a trend of asking for trouble shooting information that without a good description of what’s been done already are nothing more than stabs in the dark for the person trying to help, with the asker acting put off that no one can figure it out the problem for them. So who knows being civil and polite to one another maybe becoming a thing of the past. Gone the way of soda fountains and record stores.
I think some online discussion ends without thanks messages for one of two reasons. One, they’re unresolved and the person is still waiting for resolution, then forgets about the thread. The second is that some people (myself included) aren’t too fond of opening a thread marked as new just to read “Thanks.” They therefore do not post simple thanks messages.
As for trouble shooting questions, they can be tricky things to learn how to properly post. You need to put in what you have, what you want it to do, what it does, and what you’ve tried, which makes for a lot of work.
What I don’t like is when somebody asks for an opinion, then gets opinions and proceeds to tell everybody their opinion is wrong and stupid.
I’ve been 22 years now in the Army and I’ve seen respect as a general rule become non-existant in the younger generation. They have not been taught how to properly ask or answer a question in a respectful manner. It is very much a “me” and “want the reward right now” generation. Not all are like that mind you, but most. It stands to reason the lack of respect and work ethic would be relflected in the fora of the internet.
So is this a trouble shooting thread? Can you give us more detail,please?
It could be just the culture as a whole going to pot.
Thanks
Jack,
On some feedback, you just have to “Duck and Cover”
As a new person in the hobby, I am very thankful for all the advice I have received from the everybody on this board.[angel]
As my project continues, I will post pictures showing my progress in my thread to show how I have used all the great advise to practical use. I know a few others (SRS) that seem that they are doing a similar approach.
Right now I am bogged down with landscaping issues that will have to be resolved.
Maybe some new people are getting discouraged and giving up?
Chalk it up to poor upbringing. Being a 22 year military man myself, my kids were brought up to have manners and respect for others, especially their elders. As a point to how much it was ingrained in me by my mother, I will relate this story to you:
When my wife and I moved into a new house, I could not park my motorcycle on our side of the street due to a bent kickstand. I found that if I paked it on the opposite side of the street where the curb was low, I could rest the kickstand on the curb and not have to worry about the bike falling over. The two elderly women who lived in the two houses across the street would come out and yell at me for parking the bike on their side of the street. They would say it was a nuisance and that kids could get hurt on it, as if it was a jungle gym only on their side of the street and not mine. I tried explaining to them as to why I parked there, but they wouldn’t listen. Eventually they realized that I was not some crazed biker and they became friends with me. I would always go over if they needed a hand getting their lawn mowed, snow shoveled or any other kind of chore. One time we got talking about how they would yell at me about the bike, but, they could not figure out why I wouldn’t yell back. I told them that I couldn’t because I could hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, “Don’t you dare talk back to your elders !”. They got the biggest kick out of that.
Good manners are never out of style.
Captain Stryker
By the way…
Thanks for your post !
Captain Stryker
Hey everyone,
My two kids are 10 and 8. My son being the eldest. He has been taught by me to open the door ( anywhere ) for his younger sister. Does he like it…sometimes no…but he does show off for the girls at school by doing the same for them. My wife and I have worked hard at instilling good values as well as manners in our kids. They still fight of course but you all can take heed knowing that even in this day and age all is not lost. I know we encounter rudeness on a daily basis so we do not need any more here. I have tried for years to encourage and thank those who post on this forum. Do I always remember to do so? No…not always…but I try. I very much appreciate those who post here otherwise this forum would cease to exist. Thankyou to all who do post here and not just lurk. Happy New Year everyone…and thanks for being my friends. Later eh…Brian.
The one I hate most is 'Which is better?"
Rastun: good post. It served as an effective cure for my temporary case of inter-cranial rectumitis.
Iandor, GearDrivenSteam and Cacole: I never said thank you for your insight and time for answering my question about DCC. Please accept my apology. THANK YOU: your help was greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Soulman
I’m glad if I help anyone. Also, my thanks for all those who’ve helped me. I don’t think it’s necessarily all " bad upbringing". I think the “online factor” has a lot to do with it, too. Remember, none of us is face to face. That makes a big difference. Email, posting and general forums tend to be a tad impersonal. I think most of us probably mean well, but forget that there are actually real people behind these posts. Just my thought.
Hello,
Our techie says…
On the trouble shooting: If one can and does do all that, most likely there will be a solution in short order. For one simple reason: to list the problem in such detail will require having a very close look first.
On the “Thank you” threads: a simple thank you in the original thread will suffice.
On that note: a “we appreciate your feedback” to all the participants who send their “Thank you” via email.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ER
I think I should clarify my post as it was not intended as a barb at those on the forums.
In general, my statement was meant at the daily deterioration of good manners as seen everyday in our society. Would I be offended if someone were not to thank me for some help on a forum? More than likely not. If I were to give someone help in a face-to-face encounter, that would be a different story, even though both could be construed as somewhat the same: helping without being thanked. I believe it may have to do with the anonymity and non-personal contact that is the cyberspace world.
Captain Stryker
I can let forum bad manners pass me by due to the limitations of the digital world. What I can’t abide by is somebody I’m talking to in person having a cell phone conversation with somebody else. Hang up and conduct your conversation with the real living person please.
Speaking as a person who has been deaf since the age of 7 (measles). My normal mode of communication is via the keyboard. I have done quite well out of it as I do most of my work clutching a mouse and graph pad. What I have noticed is the “tone” that can be carried over by ones normal mode of “speech”. I come from Rhodesia -thus my normal speech is peppered with archaic colonial slang (and spellings) -some of which my son uses at school… There was one very individual “individual” who frequented another form and I was so incensed by one of the replies to one of mine that I sent him an e-mail complaining about it. His reply was so odious that just refused to have anything to do with him and adopted a strictly formal commercial approach. At the end of his e-mail he put down “then don’t speak to me” he later sent me an e-mail saying “Please speak to me”. So, in accordance with his wishes, the boy who grew up in a plastered mud brick house with a tin roof -did not reply… I think that if your posts are ill mannered then no-one will bother with what you are saying, but, if you state your case reasonably then people will listen to what you have to say regardless of your state of English. And YES, I can tell the area of the UK or most english speaking countries by the way that the words in the post are put together… regards ralph
Puckdropper writes: “The second is that some people (myself included) aren’t too fond of opening a thread marked as new just to read “Thanks.” They therefore do not post simple thanks messages.”
I’ll second that. Out of simple courtesy, I often do not make a thank you reply unless my post is at or near the top of the page. By posting a thank you, it brings the post back up to the top of the page and then everyone opens it to see what new material might be there and that post blocks the newer posts from being near or at the top, as most people open posts from the top of the page.
If the posts wouldn’t jump back up to the top, it would make it much easier for me to justify the thanks.
Occasionally, I’ll post a thank you, along with additional information that may have come up that would add value to the post.
People’s time is a valuable commodity in this rush rush age, and I try to be respectful of that.
I think that a multitude of factors have contributed to the apparent demise of manners; and we are all guilty of a lapse at some point or extent.
Technology is a big culprit. It is ingrained in us to answer the phone promptly, it could well be a very important message; therefore, the dammed cell phones have begun to rule life. My son seems to constantly have his apparently surgically attached to his ear, and many folks express disbelief because I refuse to have a cell phone! (If they need to talk to me badly enough they can call me when I get home to get the call.) Computers and the internet have magnified an impersonality to communication. Yes, we now have access to pick so many more minds than our fathers did; but because we now do it at a distance without looking the communicant in the face and eyes, and at the time of our choosing, it has become a distant affair!
The hustle and bustle of today’s living is also a factor. People are just in too much of a hurry to be polite, or so they think. They really need to slow down and give a bit of thought to what they are doing and why is it so necessary to get it done so quickly!
We could go on about the “Me generation” and a multitude of other factors, but the fact is that folks have forgotten how to enjoy life and the niceties thereof!
One of the many appeals of garden railroading to me is leaving the cell phone and computer behind (which makes up my work at work), and get down and dirty in the garden, using my hands and running vintage stuff with the beagle nearby. Harks back to a much more pleasant, unhurried age.
(it’s bad enough traveling home on the VRE train hearing lots of people yelling into their cellphones about what they’re having for dinner)
There are soooo many sources from which the point of blame can come. Everything from the way kids are raised to the way they are educated to technology to MTV to rap music and the list goes on. Everything feeds off the other and it seems that the slippery slope has become more of an avalanche. I think the pendulum is not through swinging yet but will eventually work it’s way back. The sad thing is, when I was a boy, if you screwed up, you were summarily scolded by the nearest adult, usually a male telling you to be polite (in not so polite terms). Since young males are very aggressive by nature, this public admonition was necessary, even if not welcome by the recipient. Today, you don’t find that because we are not allowed to scold those who are not our own blood. WE are in the wrong for hurting their fragile psyche’. All we’ve done is raise a generation of rude people. That’s not to paint a broad brush, per se, but it seems that there are more impolite kids than polite anymore.
Of course it could just be me getting older and seeing life from a different perspective.
Mark