How to...(humor thread)

How to do any number things have many methods and means. This is a place to post general hints which don’t particulary need a thread of their own.

I’ll go first.

HOW TO…go past the hobby shop without even being tempted to enter. First, do you grocery shopping in another direction as well as your other chores. Second, only go past the shop between 11pm and 6am. If these don’t work, wear a blindfold and have your spouse guide you by.

As you are nearing the LHS, causally mention to your significant “other” that you like your last locomotive so much that you would like to go in and order another.

About five minutes later, safely past the LHS, while you are both waiting for the next light to turn green, you let her know that you were just kidding. She smiles sweetly, and without looking at you says, “I wasn’t.”

I walk by my LHS just so I can be tempted. It is the one temptation that does not lead me astray. And its only one block away. O sweet satisfation.

The American Express/VISA/Master Card: Leave your home without it!

They do take cssh too ya know. Remember cash. Funny bits of paper and metal with famous peoples faces on them.

True, true… except there’s usually a finite supply of that stuff (in my own pocket anyway) so I can’t really go hawg-wild the way I would with plastic[:D]

In fact, when I go to a Timonium train show I usually take a limited amount of cash out of the checking account and leave all my credit cards at home - so I won’t go over-budget.

You mean the green paper with the dead presidents pictures printed on them, I rember now. Mike

wait a sec… they still make that stuff?

How to…beat one joke to death with another:

Just scroll back![banghead]

My hobby shop will only accept cash with two pieces of identification. I’ve been trying to buy things on my good looks for many years but they keep insisting that that is not legal tender. I guess if I leave all my plastic and all of my identification at home and only go out with my ravishingly good looks I’ll be completely safe.

How to justify things you don’t ready need[:)]

Ok, How?

Back in one of my past jobs, I used to quip, Cerdit cards with one id, checks with two and cash with three!

i don’t understand … why would i want to walk by my LHS without going in ? that’s kind of like having a chocolate bar on my desk and not eating it … just ain’t gonna happen !

That’s why I only take the pictures of Ben Franklin to my LHS. Since he wasn’t ever president, it’s OK to exchange his pictures for trains. And you know what? They like him better than Washington or Lincoln. Lots better.

No answer given i see…

I take it that this is because, when it comes to model RR, there is no such thing as “things you don’t really need”… like that extra pair when she passes the shoe shop… [:D]

When spending a significant amount I’ve often asked whether any discount is available for my being suave, charming and sophisticated or for BS. I’ve got up to10% for BS many times.

With a line like that, they should have given you 30%!!!

LOL

Darrell, I’ll be quiet…for now