Thought I’d let my friends here know what I’ve been up too while the power was out for 3 days in New England due to a massive ice storm.
It was late at night, my dear wife was fast asleep in the bedroom some where under a pile of blankets that were so high it was hard too tell that there was a person under the pile, she was trying to escape the cold that gripped the North East and an Ice storm that knocked out power too over 200,000 New England house holds and ours!
I was half asleep in the living room where my little Jack Russell Terrorist “Jacky” and I had set up camp near the wood stove to keep the fire burning through the night, we had an important job, keeping our small family from Freezing too death.
The winds were howling outside with enough strength to snap off branches both big and small that would crash onto the roof periodically causing Jacky to run around barking at the ceiling, I did my best too keep her quiet in hopes that my dear wife would not wake up and cut us up into small enough pieces too fit into the wood stove.
While I was trying too get Jacky too understand that it was only the wind undoing all the nice yard work I had done this past fall she continued to act as though there was a Deranged Santa up on our roof with 8 drunken reign deer, A.K.A Rain Deer.
I’ve seen her act this way before but only when there was some small critter chewing through the cinder block walls trying too get in, probably to kill us all in our sleep, these darn chipmunks have been waging an all out war on us since I “relocated” a few of them too the “Spirit lands” were they could run free.
After a few hours the winds died down but NOT the noise coming from over our heads, I could now hear what my Jacky could hear the whole time, some form of evil critter trying its best to chew through the plywood that was just above the sheet rock ceilings and this one sou
That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Word of advice though: just go to your local Wal-Mart or whatever, buy yourself a crosman pellet gun, get some hollow point pellets, site it in, then lie in wait for the vermin, lol. Or, if you don’t want to kill, just get an airsoft gun.
You Sir, Have a way with words!! That was really funny!
We were without power for only 3 days here.No vermin here, But I did jump up a few times in the night to see the trees falling down around us! All is well now.
I’ve been there many times myself with squirrels getting into the house. I started out as you did, but finally came to the conclusion that they need to be sent to “a nice farm where it could roam free.” I keep a hatchet handy for this reason.
Outstanding. You are wise in the ways of words and the ways of wildlife.
I have visions of a chipmunk tied across the tracks with twine, with a train bearing down. You are wearing a top hat and a long handlebar mustache, and you call yourself Snidely Whiplash…
If it gets hot and the power goes out again, I’ll see if I can come up with one. It was like that a few years ago when Ivan hit. Had no power for 2 days, and the temperature was over 95 degrees, with 100% humidity. I didn’t have an Chipmunks, but instead evil squirrels and mosquitos.
To be able to write like that after going through the power outage is no small task. (But I’m not sure letting your wife read about the “ice bogger” would be a good idea.)
I have no problem believing any of this. Last year I had to do battle with a squirrel that fell into the wall and ended up inside the central air closet. This year I had to get the management to put some magic squirrel candy in the attic to put an end to the daily morning tree rat parties up there, which sounded like they were holding their own version of the Indy 500. Then last night my mom tells me that while she’s on the computer in the den, one of the cats shows up with a chipmunk in her mouth, which promptly ran off and can’t be found.