I look at this board and I see a lot of nice guys. In fact, I can’t think of one guy I’ve met here that I wouldn’t stand to a cup of joe. Mostly people have a set of guidelines they live by. When people operate outside their guidelines it creates an imbalance, and imbalance by definition is unsettling.
Problem is that some people’s guidelines don’t mesh with other peoples.
For example, in our culture, we have an unconscious distance that we stand away from each other–about 24". This is our comfort zone. We don’t even think about it. But there are other people whose culture stands closer, say 18". When they get into their comfort zone we get uncomfortable and back off. In turn, they move closer again and we back off. We think they are pushy; they think we are standoffish. Who is right?
When we have people from all over the globe communicating like they do here, two nice guys can get off on the wrong foot.
There’s no need to fix anything. Just go back to being who you are and learn from experiences.
It really helps to wait a few minutes to reply to someone who seems to be provoking you, too.
The written word is very stark. What one person writes as a good-natured jibe may read to another as a knife in the ribs.
If you think you’ve been knifed, ask the guy to be sure. Probably pretty good odds that he’ll say he was only joking, and will apologize if it came across otherwise. If he says he meant to knife you, THEN hack him up with a verbal machete [;)]!
A lot of people think smileys are stupid, but in this medium they can be very helpful to give one’s words the feeling that their voice would normally convey.
I’m a terrible writer, but I have no trouble carrying on a conversation. The secret, in this medium, is to try and type what you would normally say, but also review it before posting. Done well, it can make a person appear intelligent, done poorly it can have quite the opposite effect.[swg]
About the title of this string…I loved that movie!!!..Mel Brooks - “Blazing Saddles”…now… I don’t let anyone on this forum get to me…everyone has opinions and ideas…some good…some not so good…the bottom line is to let this be your hobby and fun for you…it is up to you to do what you see is the best practice for your MR without being influenced or rubbed the wrong way by others…(sometimes I even come across as sharp and to the point when i express my opinion or experiences …but it’s just me and i don’t mean any bad tidings to anyone)…I’ve been in this hobby for many years and I know when something is pretty factual about what they are discussing and when somebody’s trying to blow smoke up my you know what…all in all, everyone here is trying to help his fellow modeler achieve the knowledge necessary, give them good ideas, and explain previous experiences to others, so that they can do the best job possible on their layout and they should all be praised for it…don’t be alarmed at the way some people come across…it’s all in the fun and love for this hobby…Chuck
Unfortunately, there are people in the world, and certainly in this forum, that cannot “take” criticism in any form, constructive or otherwise. The testosteron level runs very high in some people and they are always reading to lock horns with someone over the silliest of things to make their point, to get the last word in, to “show” them whose boss. Such actions are childish, shows very little respect for others, and a complete lack of self control. I know that there are those in this forum that will disagree with what I have just said, but that is OK by me, I just want them to “think” about what I have said, and measure themselves. Respect is earned…not distributed at birth…not given in fear or bullying.
I hope everyone has a great day, that is what God intended for us.
It doesn’t hurt to apologize now and then either! One of my first posts in this forum contained a bit of sarcasm about a manufacturer. It was, I guess, taken as a put down of the person who was asking the question. My next post was an appology to him. One of my favorite Andy Capp cartoons shows Chaukie saying to Andy, “It takes a big man to apologize when you’re wrong.” Andy says, “an even bigger one when your not!”.
I for one will not let some troll sucker me into a flaming match just for fun. Remember, when arguing with an idiot, make sure he is not similarly occupied! LOL [;)]
There used to be a saying about not dating anyone crazier then yourself. You’ll always find folks that funnier, smarter, better looking, luckier, crazier, meaner, or nastier. Sometimes good folks have a bad day. Little gets fixed in our day to day transactions with tit for tat tactics or other distructive competitions. Just accept that’s going to be the case. Smile and move on. You’ve got better things to do with your life.
My favorite line from one of my all-time favorite comedies, unfortunately cut after the premiere:
Lily von Stupp: “Oh, I thought dat vas a Bratwurst.”
Tom