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OK - so things are a little slow - which for me, is a good place to interject this!
You have all probably read or heard this - but I found it quite amusing and maybe even could apply to trains!
From Qantas - first line is problem from pilot (bad order)
2nd line is from engineers (probably mechanics)
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
Almost replaced left inside main tire
Test flight OK except auto-land very rough
Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
Something loose in cockpit
Something tightened in cockpit
Dead bugs on windshield
Live bugs on backorder
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
Cannot reproduce problem on ground
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
Evidence removed
DME volume unbelievably loud
DME volume set to more believable level
Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
That’s what they are there for
IFF inoperative
IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
Suspected crack in windshield
Suspect you are right
3 engine missing
Engine found on right wing after brief search
Aircraft handles funny
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious
Target radar hums
Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
Mouse in cockpit
Cat installed
Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
Took hammer away from midget
Happy Day!
Jen
hey matts a growing boy! not no midget!
staysafe
joe
Hi Jen FYI Since I work on aircraft I have seen these “squaks” many times. I still think they are funny. I have left my favorite ones above. In reference to the “mouse in cockpit”, today there are 2 “mouse” in the cockpit. They have a fancy name-- Cursor Control Units or CCU for short. The dials and gages of past have now been replaced by a monitor (actually 4 monitors) called Primary Flight Display or Secondary Flight Display (Multifunction Flight Display). Two of these displays are for the pilot and the other two are for the co-pilot. The new breed of locos also have computer displays, but some of our rr buddies will have to tell us what they call them. Also today many jet aircraft are tri-jets, meaning they have 3 engines not 2 or 4. The #2 engine is not on a wing but located above the cabin or on the tail. [;)]
A friend of mine worked at the local Army Nationaly Guard base as a contractor (he was not a military person). He told me that many time the pilots would act like big shots and belittle them. So to get back at the pilots they would write a squak on the coffee maker, and lock out the circuit breaker. Therefore, the pilots would not be able to make or drink coffee during the next flight. [:(] LOL He said after they did this the pilots were always nicer when th
Jim, when I read this I immediately thought of you. But I wanted to share with all our friends on the forum, even those that will yell at me for going off topic!
Jen
Jen-
I got a real good laugh from them…THANKS
Jen,
Many laughs. I copied and pasted them to my brother-in-law who is an airframe tech at the military airbase down the road. He will really appreciate the humor.
Jeff
Jen, this isn’t as far off topic as you may think…I’ve seen a similar list of problems with modifications made to put it in a railroad environment (you could cover half of them by changing “cockpit” to “cab”). Hard to tell what was original.
It had another good one:
Problem: Excessive vibration at speeds over 65 m.p.h.
Fix: Could not reproduce problem in shop.
Jen, you have no idea how close you are to RR engineers. I used to sign off their little nit-picky write-ups in the same fashion. It really used to rattle their cages
I am surprised that none of our railroad buddies have told us what they call the monitors in the new locos. Is it just --monitor-- or do the railroaders call them some fancy name like the aircraft people do? [;)]
Inquiring minds want to know. [:p] [:)]
As always stay safe, and Look, Listen, and Live.
Don’t Forget the Troops
They probably have many colorful adjectives to describe the monitors, and none that should be repeated in this forum.[8D]
I’
m trying to think of something sensible to write, and i can’t come up with anyhting better then fjhdkfhgjdfhjk
I suppose i would have to be a pilot to understand those things… I can’t even spell “piliot”, let alone fly one of those overgrown toaster with wings…
HA!
They probably call it the gee-it-won’t-leave-me-alone monitor, OR
Hey-MA-it’s-picking-on-me-again monitor. LOL LOL
Hey Everyone Kevins back, YYYYeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa.
We all missed you Kevin. [;)]
Everyone say “Hi” to Kevin
Everything that I have heard the Fire, Ice, IFD monitors called is preceeded by F-ing.
Ken[:p]
[;)] Hi Kevin - we have missed your enlightening rhetoric and your girlfriend too!
Jen
PS Send cool!
Kev
I told you never to stick things in the electrical outlets, now look what you’ve done!!! wait till you get the bill for that one!!! LOL[8D]
Kevin YES send cool. On the way home tonight (after midnight) I still had to use the truck’s A C. If it is this hot here I can only imagine how hot Ed must be.
I can’t wait for September and a little cooler weather.
Stay safe, and Look, Listen, and L I V E
Don’t forget the troops
Ed for president
[
Kevin YES send cool. On the way home tonight (after midnight) I still had to use the truck’s A C. If it is this hot here I can only imagine how hot Ed must be.
I can’t wait for September and a little cooler weather.
Stay safe, and Look, Listen, and L I V E
Don’t forget the troops
Ed for president
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Nuts to Ed - he is doing just fine in the 90’s! We are around 102! If we are having a pity party - it will be for his northern neighbors![:(!]
Hey - a pity party - how fun![:o)]
Gee, just feel the love!
Ed
Nuts to Ed - he is doing just fine in the 90’s! We are around 102! If we are having a pity party - it will be for his northern neighbors![:(!]
Hey - a pity party - how fun![:o)]
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