Clinton, Nebraska: Local Authorities said that 73-year-old modeler Marvin Haskel was cited for 5 counts of modeling indiscretion on his 1948 Southern Pacific layout, including:
Dislocation
Improper coupling & Sub-standardization
Cross Powerization
Fantasization
Inappropriate Revenue Car
Layout Police Officer Pierce had this to say: “We like to be called ‘auditors.’ When people start to deviate from exact representation, it is my job to investigate and issue citations. The modeler is expected to comply or face the consequences.”
The auditors faced no resistance in entering the property. “We told [Mrs. June Haskel] that we were here to see her husband’s layout. She opened the door and told us it was in the basement. One look and I knew we’d found trouble.”
Coupler miscegenation is another one of those cultural things. While certain conservative groups oopose it on theological grounds, the fact remains that thoughout history, prototype couplers have also been produced by a variety of manufacturers. By accepting only single-manufacturer coupling, we are, in fact, promoting non-prototypical practices, and also encouraging monopolistic business models.
Horn-hooks have not been seen in the prototype world since the demise of parasaurolophus at the end of the Cretaceous Period, approximately 73 million years before the acknowledged beginning of the Transition Era. It is likely that the plastic used in today’s model horn-hooks is directly made from petrochemical by-products of the prototypes, so this, too, follows good modeling practice.
I am guilty in one way or another of all but having dinosaurs and lions running my yard switchers.
*Dislocation- although I loosely model the B&O, C&O, Chessie,and CSX, with {gasp} trackage rights to PRR , THe exact location of my layout does nothing to actually represent a piece of such railways-past, present or future. I had hoped no one would notice that the layout looks a lot like what can be found around my home area where the EL {70’s} and now th NS ran/run with ocassional Chessies passing through in the 70’s. All set to run in any time period from the late 1800’s through yesterday. I also have a station that I believe is a UP or southwestern style that should not belong on the east coast, but it was cheap when a previous road abandoned it. My “rural dual station” is of generic quality and serves both passengers and revenue cars, as many odd stations did in the 1800’s around here. Its color, blue, might be somewhat representative of the B&O color blue, but is by far the wrong shade of blue, and I confess to not knowing exactly what colors stations were along the appropriate lines of yor. THe old wood stations around here were/are painted green. ANd I run whatever era I feel like running at any given time so as to no be locked into a time warp of sorts.
*Improper coupling- well, I let various coupler manufacturers work for me, not against me. I do not care if my EZ Mates and Kadees or McHenry’s occupy my RR equipment so long as they play well with each other. I saw no need to spend badly needed operating cash for my railroad empire on standardization of such matters, even where the coupler heights are off by .0010". I do, however, draw the line and have ridded my empire of all horn hook couplers on all but two cars as I haven’t gotten to them yet. They will most likely be replaced with McHenry couplers. {gasp}
*Cross powerization…I DO have a couple of DC locos sitting on
I recently purchased a late '70s era, blue “The Rock” boxcar, to run behind my 50’s era 4-4-2 AF locomotive. It was an impulse buy at train show, and I did so only because I live in the general area of Rock Island, IL and have been a fan of the Rock Island Lines for years.
In my defense, I have to say that the whole episode has been keeping me up at night. And I am resolved to repaint said boxcar in the RI configuration for the appropriate era, as soon as I can locate a set of S-Scale decals.
I can see it now. A model railroad czar to hand out citations for no prototypical layouts. I figure a federal salary of around $250,000 a year. Plus all the staff they need. We shouldn’t give the government any ideas. Although it would really be a cushy no show hack job like so many already! Maybe they could drive around one of those electric cars? Oh maybe not I don’t think they are DCC.
Excuse me while I hang up my shotgun rack in the layout room.
Thanks to Spacemouse and all the ones who posted here. It’s is one of the funniest threads.
… sssshhhhhh … I have kept this secret from the forum all the time I’ve been here … Don’t tell, please. …
My CB&Q GP7’s are not in the photos I post. … Wanna know why?
ssshhhh … Promise not to tell. … I have 5 GP7’s in Burlington colors and lettering with … (yikes) … dynamic brake cooling fans … (Prototype CB&Q GP7’s had no dynamic brakes.)
I live my life on the run, moving from place to place, trying to keep one step ahead of the authorities. My love of all things vintage and HO has gotten me into some pretty dodgy situations with model railroad law enforcement, but I just can’t seem to stop. Friends beg me to embrace Koesterism, pick a specific era, and settle down, but I just can’t be tied down to a single era or road name; I’m just not that kind of guy. I’ve even been known to restore Rivarossis with flanges sharp and deep enough for emergency surgery, the way God and Italy intended them to be. The dangers are great, but seeing that baby slice through a code 100 turnout is all the reward I need.
I also rip the tags off my mattresses. I’m a rebel, and that’s how I roll. [:-,]
I went into the layout room a couple of days ago and found a pile of something on the floor. Looked like a cross between hamburger and sliced salami, with some other, less savory, ingredients.
The resident Samurai guardian informed me that the room had been invaded by some uniformed person with a clipboard. When the intruder tried to present a citation to the guardian of the Empire, the guardian took exception.
The guardian was cleaning his longer katana as he explained this. Shortly thereafter, the neighborhood dogs appeared and ate the evdence.
Funny the claymorette at the entry didn’t go off…
Chuck (Modeling Central Japan in September, 1964 - with Vietnam-era technology)
I made a prediction about a year ago that the way the current administration was going by the time B.O. leaves the White House it will probably be a capital offense to model anything whatsoever to do with coal.
The layout police are holding my house under seige. Not only do I not quite understand DCC or wiring yet, but I also have a small 15 pound dog that has a certain attraction to anything bite sized that is probably not for him to chew on.
If HO is 1/87 scale, what size does it make that beast upon approaching said layout? Bring out the tanks, biplanes, and beautiful lady in distress!
When the Layout Police visit my train room, they head straight for the 1:87 donut shop and spend all their time there. They don’t even bother with the rest of the layout.
You see, I model the late Transition Era, and sometimes the pre-WW2 era, and that was before the food nazis made them take trans-fats out of donuts. So, the donuts taste much better than the cardboard box they come in, unlike Modern Era donuts.
Edit: *** is the organization that Colonel Klink belonged to. I guess Hogans Heroes is not popular with the censors on the new forum.
Edit 2: Oh, now that’s interesting. When I first posted this, “food nazis” got censored, but on edit it was restored.
Layout Police Officer Pierce had this to say: “We like to be called ‘auditors.’ When people start to deviate from exact representation, it is my job to investigate and issue citations. The modeler is expected to comply or face the consequences.”