I’m not trying to create another permanet thread, but just finished reading all the daily email. This one joke stuck in my mind. And, since I’m always thinking about different things that could be used or adapted to a layout thought this could be a possible source of Dr Office window signs.
(Maybe we could have a Levity Train thread, jokes, or funny train related items. Could be a problem too, but certainly would be better than all the recent whinning and crying. (Notice - I’ve run out of patience))
[:)] The Psychiatrist & Proctologist -
Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading:
“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones , Psychiatry and Proctology.”
The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it
to “Hysterias and Posteriors.”
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council
they changed the sign to
“Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.” No go.
Next, they tried
“Catatonics and High Colonics.” Thumbs down again.
Then came
“Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives.” Still no good.
Another attempt resulted in
“Minds and Behinds.” Unacceptable.
So they tried
“Lost Souls and Butt Holes.” No way.
“Analysis and Anal Cysts?” Nope.
Nuts and Butts?" Uh uh.
“Freaks and Cheeks?” Still no go.
“Loons and Moons?” Forget it.
Almost a t their wit’s end, the doctors finally came up with:
“Dr Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”
Hey, Don, guys on the Model Railroader board got ya covered with their “Would you believe…A little Humor” thread. Pages and pages of pretty funny stuff.
Thanks Don, I too don’t go for the whining. I enjoyed the humor too. I recall and old joke from the movies, not sure which, but it may have been Marx Bros, or Abott and Costello. They are talking and the one goes:
“Yeah, when they were handing out Brains, you thought they said Trains, and told them you didn’t want any.”
I wish I had more material, but most of the jokes I know are Lawyer or Dr. jokes. I could tell you about some of the things I have seen, but that would probably make some folks gag.
Whaddaya call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
A lawyer, a salesman and a manager were out fishing when their boat sank. They began to swim for a small island; as they were swimming sharks began circling around them. Suddenly the sharks struck at the salesman, and he disappeared below the surface in a shower of blood. Soon the sharks were circling again; this time it was the manager who was taken. The sharks continued to circle the lawyer until he reached the island. Later on, a Coast Guard helicopter appeared and hoisted him up from the island. As they were flying him back to land, he recounted his story. The crew was amazed and asked him why the sharks didn’t attack him. He responded: “Professional courtesy.”
SURVIVOR-- SOUTHERN STYLE
Because of the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, entitled: “SURVIVOR-- SOUTHERN STYLE”
The contestants will start in Alabama , travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina . From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee . They will then proceed down to Mississippi and
Louisiana, finally ending up back in Alabama .
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read: I’m a Vegetarian, NASCAR sucks, Go Yankees; Hillary in 2008, and Deer Hunting is Murder!
The first one that makes it back to Montgomery alive, wins!
A good story is told of a fireman who went to the Superintendent for a pass out on the road to his home, and the Superintendent declined to give it. The fireman thought and said that it was pretty tough after working several years for the company to be compelled to pay his fare home when he wanted to go, which was not often, and naturally he growled about it.
“Now look here,” said the Superintendent, “suppose you worked for a farmer out in the country, would you expect him to hitch up his team and take you home for nothing every time you wanted to go?”
“Well, no,” said the fireman, “but if he had his team all hitched up and was going out by the house, he’d be a d----d hog if he wouln’t let me ride.”
He got his pass all right and went home.
From Early Day Railroading from Chicago by D.C. Prescott, p. 117. Cpyright, 1910, by D. C. Prescott, Chicago: David B. Clarkson Company. Found in A Treasury of Railroad Folklore.
Hello Don- When I saw the title for this Thread, I knew it was a Joke.[;)][;)][:o)][:P] Anyone know how to get a One-Arm Southerner down from a Tree?..Wave to them![;)][;)][:P] Take Care.
Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.
“Have you eaten your banana yet?” Ole asked excitedly.
"No, " replied Lars.
"Vell don’t touch it den, " Ole exclaimed. “I yust took vun bite and vent blind!”
