Who here has family members who dont like your hobby?

Hey. I think I know that guy … rofl.

I’m no psychologist, but I got a clue for ya reklein. Its got nothing to do with the trains or hobbies. Its much deeper than that. This guy could have taken up “knitting” and it wouldn’t be good enough for dear old dad. There are are probably skeletons in this closet you don’t want to know about.

I can’t say I have anyone that actively disapproves of my hobby. My wife knew enough about it before we got married and so now activelly participates with me in it. My in-laws are either disintrested, intrested, or frustrated garden railroaders (frustrated that it costs so much), there are two inlaws that active against but both are hunters and see this as a waste of time and money. My response is, if you guys were better hunters it wouldn’t cost you a fortune in ammo, and I do just fine buying a whole beef off my uncle rathering than freezing my keester off in a tree-stand for a maybe deer.

The only real problem can be my mother and my mother -in- law who think anything train related is a good present. I think I finally gotten my mom disabused of this idea and am now working on my mother - in- law. Step 1. Does it say Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Paul & Pacific RR, No? Than I don’t need it. Step 2. Does it say Great Northern? No? Then I don’t need it. Step three does it look like it is from the turn of the century to the 1950’s? No? Then I don’t need it. Step 4 Does it say Hallmark or Lionel on it? Yes? Then I don’t need it.

You’re a 32-year old family man with a father who treats you as though you were still a child, attempting to dictate how you live your life and how you spend your time and money.

So I reckon your problem has bugger all to do with model railways as such, and everything to do with your father being unable to relinquish his control over you. If you had another hobby he’d be slagging you for that instead.

I think you know yourself what you should do - you don’t need us to tell you.

All the best,

Mark.

My wife!! She can’t see why I get new train mags every month - “they’re all the same”. She has Barbie dolls, but that’s OK because they’re “collectable” - what a crock!! I collect trains & run some of them because I enjoy it - not for their “collectable” value - although I could get a lot more than I paid for a Lionel Veranda Turbine & a couple of Lionel '70’s flat cars!! The catch right now is we are planning to move to a “retirement” house. She’s looking for a 1 BR with no basement - I’m looking for a basement with maybe a room or two above!! Oh well, 25 years with the lady & I still wonder why!![banghead]

Speaking of expensive hobbies NON train related.

Brother in law has…

  1. $30,000 boat he can’t afford, sits 9 months of the year in a storage lot he can’t afford

  2. $6,500 ATV sits in the garage he can’t afford (while his house roof needs replaced)

  3. $4,000 motorcycle he can’t afford

  4. Numerous guns as he is an avid hunter + ammo, gas, time

$40,500 in toys that sit for most of the year… Yea…who’s the smart one here?[:-^]

Its MONDAY. DON’T YOU GUYS HAVE JOBS OR SOMETHING ELSE TO DO! LOL

I’m off today because of Martin Luther King Day, so I get to spend the rest of the day sceniking my layout and running trains. Whoo hooo! See you suckers later.

No.[(-D]

Well that explains why the office is so empty. Good it just means I can get more work done and I don’t have to deal with pesky questions.

Does he use the excuse that he needs the guns, boat and ATV to feed his family??[(-D][(-D]
I hear that one a lot where I live![:-^]

Makes me thankful my family is supportive. My wife got me train stuff for Christmas I would have never thought about buying for myself!

I had an uncle who didn’t see the point; he was good with electronics, so when I was a kid he “fixed” an American Flyer loco while discussing out loud what was the point to the hobby–but so what, he was a great guy and I’ve always thought the world of him anyway.

Regarding a father’s disapproval, likewise-- so what. You say he’s a great father, so let it go. Be happy your father is still alive and you can enjoy other activities with him. Mine, who got me into railfanning and railroading when I was young, passed away when I was in elementary school.

Family is too important to dwell on this.

This pretty well sums it for me, too. Son is still Dad’s son, but doesn’t need Dad’s approval for whom to vote. Dad doesn’t sign any loans or car/truck ownership papers, too…does he? Does Dad hold a good chunk of the house equity maybe? If any of these is true, then Dad may be a bit peeved and remorseful in agreeing to foot the bills until you pay up. If none of it is true, then Dad needs to be fixed with your State Trooper eyes and say in measured terms that you no longer welcome the criticism about your hobby. He should find something else to talk about when the two of you are around.

IOW, be honest and courageous…tell him what is bugging you, since he seems to have no compunction about being honest with you. I suspect it will get your heart pounding in a way that stopping a drunk driver hasn’t…sorry, it won’t be much fun, but it’s gotta git dun.

My father. He says this is a wast of (reference to colourful language deleted by selector) money!

No one I know. My parents are very supportive, (except when dad jokes about me taking up 2/3 of the basement and forgetting to return his tools![swg]) and my two baby brothers don’t really care (one is barely a year old and just likes to look at them, the 3 year old likes to look at the scale vehicles) and my other brother (11) doesn’t really care except when I’m busy working or operating and he wants me to do stuff with him.

Some of my friends kid me about it, but I think they’re just envious that I have a hobby that I really love.[:D] The other ones think my layout’s really cool.

I’d like to start out by saying THANKS to all the vets here! I didn’t know so many of you were in the service. Many of my family were/are. I hurt my knees when I was in military school… haven’t been able to run since I was 16 years old. (theres this new surgery I’m counting on…)

anyway when loved ones have a problem with our hobby it’s a sensitive problem. It’s easy to say we’d tell em to bugger off,… but that can be hard and usually isn’t a fix.

Jason, maybe the problem your dad having is that he isn’t as included? or that your priority list now differs from his (not that you should match) or I’ve even seen that a father can be jeolous when his son surpasses his accomplishments… whatever it is I think a less iron fist approach is the way.

I actually have the same thing going on that Mr. Beasley described. Not that my wife suggested getting my trains out of my sisters attic (long story), but she does think if I didn’t have my trains I’d want to watch chic flix, hang out with her friends want to visit the in-laws… I told her it’s better than the list Mr. B put up but she says I wouldn’t be doing that anyway (???) if anyone does figure this one out let us know. So far my solution is not to mention it as much.

Selector has some excellent points. Never, ever borrow money from parents. Don’t ask about how I learned that lesson. One consequence, as selector alluded to, is that it gives controlling parents leverage into your adult life.

And yes, many of us are always looking for our father’s approval. In my case, it was brought home to me when my father was visiting when I received my wings at Pensacola (Navy pilot training). His remark was when was I going to get a real degree like my brother-in-law (just completed his PHD in physics)? Really stung until a therapist once asked me why I thought my father was even thinking about me at any given time and place. Suddenly, I no longer needed his approval, and I could ignore his manipulations (which quickly died away when they had no effect). And our relationship improved significantly - we were free to share without pressuring each other for anything.

As other posters have said, you know what you have to do. And keep enjoyin

Mine does this too when she is scrapbooking. Which by the way stop in one of those stores sometime and see what you can find…But hey that is another subject.

Thanks for the help and support.

My dad doesn’t like the hobby. For many reasons, mostly just because it makes what he calls a mess but I call it a sea of hidden treasures, and I do like treasure hunts…

-beegle55

Even if your Dad doesn’t approve of your hobby, be glad that he’s still around. My Dad got me started with trains when I was a little boy, and marvelled at how quickly his son surpassed him in his ability to figure out the complicated wiring of a model railroad. He never said a negative word about my trains. Smoking got him at an early age, though, years younger than I am now.

Don’t make an issue of it, especially with someone who may not be with us for too many more years.

My father-in-law, on the other hand, is now 91, still sharp and self-sufficient, as is his “child bride” of 87. He checks my Railimages site now and then, and thinks the trains are pretty cool.

Nobody in my immediate family that I know of. My parents are behind it 100%. One of my uncles has a problem with it though. He thinks they’re just worthless toys.