I have been married for 10 years, have 3 kids and a fairly large house. On the top floor there are 2 rooms that are dedicated train rooms. My wife is very understanding and doesn’t mind the hobby. I think it is because it is a lot cheaper than my other addictions like motorcycles, snowmobiles and Atvs. Before we got married and I got back into trains at full force I had 2 sport-bikes, 2 Atvs, 2 snowmobiles and a Cobra Mustang. When we got married I sold a lot of those things to get the house and all I have left is 1 ATV. I think it was all worth it because now we have a great family and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. She saw the sacrifice I made to get the house so I think that is why she tolerates this hobby. Plus it keeps me home more often and closer to the little ones as a shared interest.
Howdy, Trooper. Glad I’m not meeting you professionally!
All of the presently living members of my family are either supportive or indifferent to my model railroading. (My wife of 47+ years got me into Japanese prototype modeling before we were married.) My parents, both of whom lived past 90, never really approved, but once I was out of their house I was out of their control and they accepted the situation.
The most important thing to realize is that, deep down inside, a father’s child is that father’s child, even if that child’s child just made him a great-grandfather. It takes a very secure personality to deliberately surrender the desire to control, even though attempting to exercise such control is totally inappropriate.
A possible fuse-puller on the situation is to ask your father what’s really got his shorts in a knot. Odds are, it has nothing to do with either you or your hobby (but he can’t tell Mister Scrooge what all or he’ll be joining the ranks of the formerly employed.)
Chuck [MSgt(ret) USAF, modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)
My late wife thought anything that was not interesting to her was aproblem. I waited 30+ years to have a layout of any size and actually working. Im a retired Fire fighter ( Capt ) and as the house is now all mine I have the layout I always wanted.
She thought a garden Railway would be ok but unfortunatly passed away before that happened. I have one now as well as the basement. The rest of the family tolerates Dads railroad. My daughter buys “G” scale buildings for Christmas and Birthdays. Nice!! The grand daughter likes my garden trains. Ok with me.
Dave
You could always find out what he really enjoys and what he is really into with a die hard passion then criticize him for that… or just ignore him (which is not always the easiest I know). It could be one of those I’m-getting-old-and-crotchety-so-I-hate-everything fase, I don’t know. No offense to your father of course.
I’m 42, married 17 years and have no kids. Both my wife and I have good jobs so we have a few “toys” that we enjoy. We have a nice boat, nice house with a pool, 2 ATV’s, 2 snowmobiles(soon to be sold unless we get snow), 3 cars, 2 trucks and a SUV. Two of the cars and one truck I classify as toys, I don’t need them but they are part of my car hobby addiction. My father in law before he passed away use to crack jokes once in awhile but it was more in fun then anything else. I use to laugh at him for having his boat sitting around most of the time doing nothing. Everybody else knows about my hobby but nobody says anything negative except for my brother in law. He makes cracks every once in awhile but I think he is more jealous of us more then anything, he has a new car thats not payed for and he lives with his other sister, lol. He is the same age as I am and has nothing to show for himself. I just tell him he is jealous and that usually gets him mad enough that he shuts up. My wife and I are lucky that we can buy almost anything we want so the price of something is never a factor. That alone causes more resentment then my model trains does and I don’t know why. I share everything I have with my family members except for my Trans Am but thats a whole nother story, lol.
Ex wife…No problem now!!
Hey I was active duty Air Force for 10 years!! AMMO!!
Every one I live with does to an extent.
My brother and his friends hate it with a passion, he actually has taken a BB gun to a few of my “non-hobby quality” equippment. He always puts holes into the foam base, and he likes hiding my tools. (he lost all my drill bits)
My Sister doesn’t really care, she likes some of them because of the color or how there shaped or their logo.
My Mother always nags about it being a waste of time and money.
My father doesn’t seem to care much, he’ll deal with my bro if my stuff is messed with, but he won’t put any money into it.
Years ago I had a relative that was always telling my parents that my model hobbies were wrong and I needed to stop wasting money on them and get out and play sports ball and come help them with their farm.
My dad told them to go take a flying leap! They had 2 sons who were capable of working but spent all their money on dope and booze and trying to fix old broken down junk cars. My dad pointed out that he knew where I was at night and what I was up to, and didn’t have to get a call from the sherrif to come get me at the jail! lol He told them that if I wanted to work for them I would tell them, and they would pay me, they had the idea I was supposed to work for FREE! not hardly!! lol
I have a few relatives now who say things like ‘‘nice toys what do they do? sit there? why don’t you make the little toy cars move?’’ I ignore them, I run my trains, I govern my little railroad empire and I have FUN!! and thats all that matters, not what the uninformed and plain ignorant folks think…it’s all about you having fun.
Jason, don’t let him get you down-you’re a family man, have a respectable career, own your own home, & are doing things when time allows. You’re allowed fun occasionally IMO!
I’m always surprised at parents’ that expect absolute “cookie cutter” perfection at doing things from their adult children. My thoughts are, things could be worse, & the parents’ should remember that you could be living in a shelter, no job, no nothing. My response would be, “Dad, I’m doing pretty doggone good for myself-if you don’t like the way I’m doing things, then you can do it for me per your specifications!” (IMO)
Just my thoughts. I’ve dealt with co-workers recently that just “can’t believe” that my fiance’ & I haven’t set a wedding date yet. (ones that have believe in BIG WEDDINGS & pay $$$$ for them) when we do, we do. It’ll be small & civil also-we’re not in a hurry.
I’ve always had 110% support from my parents’ for my model railroading. They gave me the dining room table when I was a kid for my “layout” until my dad built me a 4x8 in the basement. Actually, my Mom who is in the hospital right now, always asks how I’m coming on my weathered train cars. Like I said, 110% support, then when I was 12-13 years old, & even now when I’m 42. (yes, I’m thankful for them!)
You’re doing very well for yourself Jason-just do what needs to be done, when you can, & enjoy your trains when you can-I just bought my 1 1/2 story bungalow in Sept, & I’m doing the same-it’ll all get done eventually-ignore everyone else! [swg]
(PS-EXCELLENT choice on your cat’s name-my fiance’ named one of her rabbits she had “Chessie” (my suggestion) yeah, I’m partial to Chessie & B&O also!) [:D]
It’s a train thing…They’ll never understand.
Remember all the praise Rod Stewart got on the Model Railroad boards when his layout appeared in MR?
But if you read the Rock Music boards, posters there blame it on all the drugs he did…go figure.
My ex - wife! Ha-ha.
I had a beautiful layout in HO. The ex decides she wants the room to start a cosmetics sales business. Would’nt have been so bad if she made some money at it, but she used all the junk herself and practically gave it away to her friends!! Cost me a bundle to remodel the room too. I think that was the beginning of “the end”.
If it wasn’t it should have been! [:)]
It honestly blows my mind to hear the stories about people who should be supportive of a modellers efforts who are so darn negative about it. It’s almost like they are threatened by it. I just don’t get it. Pain in the rear wives are one thing [xx(] but the other family members…it’s a sad state of affairs IMO.
Luckily, my wife is supportive of the hobby and is willing to help. She actually likes making deciduous trees and thinks the scenery is really cool. My ten year old, is a fledgling MRR who is helping me build his first layout. We get that done and we’ll start on my expansion layout in the next room, which is going through the painful planning/re-planning stages now. Kudo’s to all of the peeps who are supportive or at least understanding, of their respective MRR’s.
You’re a lucky man Kevin to have a wife who’s interested and even helps you. It’s great that you have kids that are interested too. My kids had no interest at all. Video games and crap!
Enjoy the hobby!
Paul
We sure do! Same to you Paul.
Since you have the same message posted on Atlas, although without the **** comments, I wonder what point you are trying to make? Between Atlas and this forum you have around 100 replies, including mine on Atlas, but what is the point? You have certainly stirred a lot of people up which has pointed out a lot of hostility toward family members and friends by several people, but what is the point you are trying to make?
Bob
Whining is the great American pastime. lol.
LHS charges too much.
Nobody scratch builds anymore.
The hobby is dying.
Thomas is not a real train.
People get in my way at the train show.
Your DCC system sucks, you should use the one I do.
I have more, but I don’t want to be accused of getting political.
Or sounding like a certain “model railroad historian”… [:D]
I was talking about Americans in general. I did not intend to address anyone in particular. [8D]
I know - I’m just stirring the pot! I was just struck by the similarity between what you wrote and the frequent pronouncements of one of our better-known forum members.
Cheers,
Mark.
I like this thread. It lets me know that I’m not alone. I’m sure it’s nice to have a supportive family that approves of your modelling efforts, but lately I’ve spent almost no time on my trains, just because I’m sick of the artillery barrages that come in every time I work on anything more than gluing down a couple of figures.
I don’t hang out in bars. This forum is my “bar.” It’s where I go for friendly conversation, companionship and understanding. As it turns out, this particular topic came along as I was going through a particularly difficult time with She Who Must Be Obeyed. Yeah, “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.”