Well, it’s Sunday evening and another weekend, and for that matter another entire week, has come and gone and I’ve not done a single thing related to model railroading. I started building my new layout in early May, and it took just two free afternoons to complete the basic benchwork - those afternoons came three months apart. Now I’m waiting for an opportunity to do my cookie-cutter work with the jigsaw. With the demands of a needy wife and family of four young kids, my only free time is late at night after the young ones are in bed - not exactly the best time to be rattling away with power tools. At any rate, even if the benchwork were finished, I’m still needing a couple hundred bucks worth of track and turnouts, and that’s over a couple hundred bucks more than I have. So I’ve reached the point where I have to ask myself why I even try. Is it worse to simply abandon the hobby I enjoy so much or to spend evening after evening in frustration that I can’t even briefly leave the pressures and responsibilities of my real life for the simple pleasure of directing my focus on something that really doesn’t matter, like building a model railroad?
How does everybody else cope? How do you find the time that it takes to work on your railroad? And how do you afford it? As far as I’m concerned, I can’t answer any of those questions. Right now I’m tempted to just box everything back up and use the benchwork to store the other junk that seems to incessantly accumulate.
One thing I learned early on: it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Building a model railroad takes time and patience. The less time you have, the more patience you will need. Actually, I’ve found that my modelling is good for me, because I really have to slow down and learn to do bits and pieces, here and there. Most important, if it’s not done by next week, well, it’s not done. You’re not punching a time clock, and nobody ever judges a model railroad by how fast it got built.
You cope by remembering that it’s a hobby. No time constrainsts, no deadlines, no expectations other than your own. If you’re not having fun, you need to change something. I just do it at my own pace, and I am having a ball. Sometimes, I work on it in a solid week stretch. Sometimes, I don’t touch it for a month or more. Just knowing that I have something to do that takes me where no one else can go means a lot. I know it’s there. I know it needs to be finished…but at MY pace, on MY terms. Try looking at it that way.
Hey don’t give up. Sometimes I don’t touch the MRR stuff for a month or more. Making time for your wife and kids comes first. Eventually when they get older you will find more time. Try buying track a little at a time, even turnouts. Buy one here and there, maybe one a week. Eventually the stuff will add up and you have bought it over the course of months. Thats how I work, (buying a piece at a time)
Good advice from Mr. B above. This is a hobby and shouldn’t feel like just another chore that needs doing around the house, like taking out the garbage or unstopping a toilet. If it does, then it’s certainly not fun. That said, I will also say that I think all guys in this hobby experience what you are describing at one time or another. I know I have. At times, I go after it in the evenings like a maniac, every night for hours, and at other times it’ll be a couple of weeks before I even set foot in the room. It really all depends upon my mood and inspiration. Most of my modeling time comes in the late evening like you describe, or on the weekends. Rarely though is it ever more than a few hours at a time. Like you said, other bits of life compete for our time, so we have to make the best of the moments we can. I look at it this way - I deserve time to myself as well as with my family, so I don’t feel guilty in the slightest if I’m in the basement doing what I love. I have two daughters living at home and they know where to find me and often do come down to hang out with me while I work, which is fine with me. But patience in the key, make small accomplishments so you don’t feel overwhelmed, and remember to keep it fun for you.
I’m sincerely sorry about your situation mononguy63. You might consider setting things aside for a while until life allows you the time and money you need to really get involved in the hobby. I’m sure you’re not alone. Good luck to you.
Similar thoughts to those already expressed by the other posters. Small steps, small amounts of time, small amounts of money, all add up over the long haul.
I don’t know your situation so it could be that there is no way to make time available. But often I think we put off tasks because it seems that the amount of time we need to do them (including preparation and setup, doing the work, cleaning up, etc) seems to be more than we have available. Might it be possible to get everything set up during your available evening hours (plywood and work area cleaned off, cookie cutter pattern drawn on the wood, saw out and ready) and then find or schedule even 15 minutes during the day/weekend to go in and make some cuts? That would give you enough cut out to keep yourself busy a while longer with quieter work like securing the cut out sections in place.
Don’t look at the total amount you need. It’s not necessary to complete the whole thing at one fell swoop. Even a few bucks worth of flex track and a couple of manual switches (maybe with manual ground throws) gets you evenings of installation time, plus a chance to start running rains on a short stretch of track. Maybe even some basic switching. Allows you to start wiring, run trains, checkout installed track before proceeding further, etc.
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So I’ve reached the point where I have to ask myself why I even try. Is it worse to simply
rest assured i to as well as others have gone through what your’e experiencing.hang in their.perhaps if you just don’t go near the RR for a week or so that might help.then if you feel like you want to get started again, just do something simple even if it’s only minimal; such as putting a kit together.take it nice and easy and don’t give up.better month’s and year’s lie ahead.terry…
I hear you, and maybe i can help just a bit. I am startign a very busy period of my life in the next week,a nd it might be 3-6 months before i get it all sorted out. (its all good stuff, but i will have a lot less time) One thing i have learned from my armor modeling is this. If you have to leave something for a while write up what you did and what you were going to do next. That and keep any revelent parts there with it. That way time wont be wasted figuring out what needs to be done next.
Also maybe there is a club in the area you can go run some trains on. Just getting out of the house for one night a month to play with trains wont cost you money and will keep you in the hobby. Remember this is supposed to be relaxing and challanging at the same time. People here way smarter than me have said it again and again, just relax, and accomplish what you can when you can. It will all come together faster thant you realize.
mononguy63, Heres the way I dealt with the hobby with a wife and 2 kids.My late wife and I had things we like to do together and that included attending Train Shows and other hobby related activities…She even attended the Rails Alive In 75 convention in Dayton(Oh).
However,we BOTH realize we needed quality time APART so we could relax in our own ways be it railfaning,attending a division meeting,reading a book,shopping or attending club meetings.In other words there was NO apron strings attached to my life nor was there a husband’s leash attached to her life and we had a very happy marriage for 20 years.
I have been through the process you describe. I started this hobby before our first son was born. Built a 4x8 layout. After our first child I built a 6x6. After our second son (and a third son) I didn’t have a layout for many years. Most of my free time and money was spent with the boys. I was den leader and assistant scoutmaster in Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts for over 10 years. During this time I read Model Railroader, built an odd kit or two, and occasionally set some track up on a plywood table. Then the children grew up and started leaving home, my wife went back to school and then went to work. So now I have a 10x18 layout, plenty of gear, and time to work on the layout, go to train shows, etc.
For now your responsibilities are your children. Don’t neglect your wife, she needs some adult time each day. When your children are gone, model railroading will still be there. Enjoy these years with your children, they pass all too quickly.
I understand your situation, but, family, job and spiritual life are top priorities for many, and, if so, time for hobbies will come in due time.
I had to wait 55 years before I had a layout. Family, high-stress job and other important pursuits simply had to come first, both time-wise and financially.
But from about age 15 I never stopped loving trains. I read about them when I could, I watched them when I could (both models and real RR), I drew track plans, and just plain dreamed about what I might do some day.
And now at age 73 I’m really having fun with this hobby, and not for one minute do I regret waiting. Everybody’s situation is different. Do what you can, maybe just a little at a time, maybe just dream about it, just enjoy trains in whatever way you can, but most importantly keep your priorities straight!
My $.02 is from experience. I got fed-up in 1981 due to the same PLUS other things. I bit my nose off and SOLD everything because I just could not cope with all that money just sitting there. Fast forward to 2002, the bug returned due to the support of my wife and the fact that the business my dad started was doing just fine. I started design in 2003 and swung the 1st hammer for real in October of 2005. I am now running on the plywood central and could not be happier.
The answer to your problem is to change your stratagy. You need to show your wife that this hobby is a tool for teaching your children about:
Wood Working
Soldering
Design and math
Artwork for the backdrop
History about the trains
And the MOST IMPORTANT that it is a hobby for the whole family and you can ALL spend time togther. No matter the ages the kids can haul lumber, prime wood or get some train videos they can watch.
Maybe at this point in your life you’re biting off just a little more than you can chew. Try leaving the idea of a medium to large layout alone for a while and concentrate on building a layout one module at a time, say the obligatory 2’ x 4’. There’s a smaller area to complete so as you work on it you can feel a greater sense of accomplishment. The cost is also going to be spread out as you work on only one module at a time.
I can really sympathize with you on this subject. I bought my house 15 years ago next month, and I still don’t have anyplace to start a layout, and won’t for the foreseeable future. My strategy has been to concentrate on getting the equipment I want ready to go, and picking up items that are good buy when I can so that when the time comes there won’t be such a huge cost to get running. I have a few boxes of flex-track waiting at this point, and about 25% of my rolling stock is properly weighted and equipped with metal wheelsets and Kadee couplers.
Since you are in the Indy area, are there any clubs nearby that could help you “get your fix” so to speak? I live near , and the closest club that I am aware of is on the Purdue campus in . While I was a member there while I was a “student”, it is out of the question for me now, especially since I work nights!
I guess my point really boils down to saying that if you do truly enjoy the hobby, then don’t give up. It may take many years, but sooner or later, you will get to where you want to be. Good luck!
In my forty years in this hobby, I’ve seen many modelers give up early-on because they wanted to accomplish too much too soon. Before I had the opportunity of owning my home (and space for my layout) I kept myself busy building small dioramas and kits. My point here is to take baby steps. You’ll soon accumulate a small empire’s worth of buildings and rolling stock. Some of the great model railroaders (John Allen for one) spent over 20 years of his life to build his legendary GD. Unfortunetly, he never completed the layout, but he never gave up on his dream. Model Railroading is a life-long hobby. No layout is ever truely finished. There is always something new to add or improve. In today’s world of “instant gratification” many newcomers fail to understand this concept. “A layout can not be built overnight”.
It sounds like this has become a great source of either resentment or simple frustration for you. Your family’s needs are more important to you than your hobby right now, and you have made the necessary adjustments. Still, you long to do something that will seem like real progress, something that will be tangibly closer to running trains.
You are also aware that your time will come, even if it has to be in fits and starts now and then. In the meantime, planning, refining, and keeping abreast of changes and new techniques that will make your eventual full-blown entry in running a layout is perhaps a much more realistic objective for the time being. Think of it as marking time, a military marching in place. You are still keeping the cadence, just not moving. Keep apace, but keep the effort to a minimum while you channel your energy to where it counts in these early formative years.
Believe me, when the time comes, it will be soooooooo much the richer.
Mononguy,
I dont have kids but I do have cost restaints.
For track scan Ebay sorry to say it but its not badly priced. I have a few connections and maybe get it pretty cheap and legally. (depends on code tho)
As for cookie cutter power tools? wood?. You dont nessarily need to use wood for a cookie cutter layout. Try construction insulation foam, or foam from woodland scenics. Not the bubbles but extruded. All you need is a knife X-acto orsteak knife to cut it. They even have Hot cutters for foam but I would suggest only using it on the woodland Sceics foam due to no harmful fumes.
I use foam for my layout but use wood as the sub-base.
As for time due it when you have the time. As I was once told its not a job and don make it into a job. There was a time I didnt touch the layout for 6 months if not more cause of my grandfather being ill and in and out of the hospital unfortunately he passed away last Nov and never got to see the railroad running but I’m sure he is watching me work on it and running it.
