Wiseacre Wednesday

Model Railroader General Discussion (Model Railroader)
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Ready-to-Run - A hamburger fresh off the grill, already dressed with lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard, etc.

Athearn Blue Box - You’re handed a hamburger on a bun, but you have to add lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard, etc, which is laid out on the table in various containers.

Craftsman kit - You buy a couple of pounds of hamburger at the supermarket, buns, lettuce, tomato, onion, etc. You make your own patties with seasoning to taste and grill the hamburgers, put the hamburger on the lower half of the bun, add veggies and condiments to suit and then add the top half of the bun.

Scratchbuilt - You buy a side of beef and have the appropriate cut ground into hamburger. You make your own buns using the appropriate ingredients. You grow and harvest your own lettuce, tomatoes, onions, etc. You are not, however, required to make your own mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, pickle relish, etc. as you’re allowed to buy those from commercial sources.

Q: What’s the difference between Athearn BB and instant gratification?

A. About 5 minutes

Q. What do you need to know to assemble an Athearn BB kit?

A. You need to know that turning the screwdriver clockwise tightens the screws. Oh yeah, almost forgot> You also need to know what a screwdriver is.

Q. What’s the difference between a regular screwdriver and a Phillips screwdriver?

A. With the Phillips you substitute milk of magnesia for the orange juice.

I hate it when I have to explain to a newbie that Gordon Varney wasn’t the guy that starred in the “Ernest” movies.

A fellow once asked me what a crosshead guide was. I responded that it was the guy whose nap he interrupted to ask directions to the bathroom.

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I literally applauded, thanks for the great thread!

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I tmay be a bit longer if the coupler cover thingys need slight adjustment either before or after the car hits the rails the first time.

Pliers to adjust siad coupler cover thingys

Ricky

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There are those that will argue that since you did not raise the cow from an embryo and hand plant the grain seeds to grow the grain and mill the flower that it is not truely scratch built

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Wrong—about 2 minutes—

Actually you need first to know what tools were before you figured out what the coupler thingees were–

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Athearn coupler covers… grrrrrrrrrrrr! They either FALL off, or fly across the room when you try to remove them.

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I was making a time allowance for a complete newbie.

And one who has to Google “screwdriver” to find out what one looks like at that.

I still don’t see what the big uproar is. Athearn BB was about as close to ready-to-run as you can get without buying the thing already assembled.

As opposed to something like a La Belle kit, which is about as close to scratchbuilding as you can get without having to cut ALL the wood yourself.

But OMG, you have to pay SO much for a La Belle kit. What’s worse, you have to do ALL that work and then buy trucks and couplers on top of that( not to mention paint and decals). All you’re getting is a box of wood pieces and some written instructions. https://www.labellemodels.com/index.php?cPath=21_23&osCsid=ggnbmlc8lfhri4em8it6aj2l56 The instructions are rather cryptic as well : https://www.labellemodels.com/manuals/HO-1%20Instructions.pdf?osCsid=ggnbmlc8lfhri4em8it6aj2l56 It’s almost a case of “if you don’t already know how to build it, the instructions don’t do you a fat lot of good”. [(-D]

Back when I was still wet behind the years (say about June, 1959), I read and reread W/ Gibson Kennedy’s article on scratchbuilding the CPR “Kettle Valley” passenger train. Back then, I couldn’t understand how anyone could use the article to build the train because there was so little in the way of step by step instruction. What I didn’t know then is that you

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What? Did you mean “wet behind the ears”?

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Yep to that–I have that article and I did manage to get something of a semblance of that train together—where it gone to is anyones guess now----

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Do railroads have Yard sales !?!?

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But did you forget that you must have created the crude oil whose by product was the plastic that resulted in the resin???

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You forgot

Almost Ready-to-Run same as Ready-to-Run except the lettuce is wilted and the tomato is green. These have to be replaced to make it acceptable.

Brass same as Ready-to-Run except the beef is Angus, the lettuce is Cobb, the tomato is organic, the mustard is Grey Poupon, the bun is Great harvest, etc. The price is quintuple. Advance reservation and deposit required.

Enjoy

Paul

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Gettin’ in the mood for that craftsman kit:

Now, where did I put my wine glass?

Mark

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Yeah, but a TRUE craftsman would just bust out the Stihl and make his own wood[:)]

Athearn BB- leftover hamburger. not the best, but when your hungry for a burger- it’ll do just fine

Proto2000 kits- fresh hamburger, but you must glue the seasame seeds on the bun, upside down, in the dark, with only one hand and a hammer.

Tyco- Spam-burger with whole-grain bread, no spices, with spinach and asparagus toppings. No one will eat it, but they have it in the cabinet in case cows go extinct

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Not only that but you have to make the trees that you get the wood from–never mind the oil—

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I have a tin-foil hat.

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A TRUE craftsman would just bust out his still in the woods… [^]

Ambroid - They give you a cow and a meat saw. You gotta supply your own bun.

Accurail - Ground Kobe Beef, all the fixins, all the condiments, up to you how to assemble

MDC - They give you a shell with a thin veneer of meat you must assemble. The fixin’s and everything else is up to you.

Paragon – Good burger, made out of Beefalo.

MTH - Not bad but it leaves a bad taste in your mouth

Brass - Looks great, smells great, tastes great-- but just wait until you get the bill

New Brite - Sorta looks like hamburger but filled with sawdust

Bachmann - What you expect in a burger, over a billion sold

Monogram - Veggie Burger

Hornby - Nice Burger, won’t fit your bun

Rapido - White Castle, bet you can’t eat just one!

Metal Train - Looks like a burger, made with horse-meat

Bowser - Not bad, comes with everything you need to assemble it yourself

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tin foil body armour----