When I went into semi retirement I told my wife that I was planning on a train layout. She thought that was a great idea and when I told her that I was going to put it in my small office and storage area she suggested the rec room. That room was really too nice for me to mess up and there was no privacy from any and all visitors.
Knowing that she has allergies up the wazoo I have done any work that may cause any ordors or be toxix in any way outside. Also I use water based products. Under the back porch just a few steps from the layout I have a nice work table with an electrical outlet so it is pretty convenient. Last winter I was soldering spade connectors wearing a jacket but the iron was able to get hot enough.
On a rare occasion I’ve cheated with out any thing bothering her and on other occasions she though I was doing something when I wasn’t. So it all evens out.
We are having a bedroom painted in a couple of weeks so that will be a good time to touch up the backdrop.
Money has never been an issue with her. We have had a good working relationship for the last 46 years.
for all of the great replies. It is great reading them and also very informative, while also showing how important it is to have someone that is supportive of the hobby.
I don’t post much, but this topic got me thinking about my wife and how supportive of my hobby she really is.
After high school I got into my first series relationship, back then I just had a circle of track, a few engines and some rolling stock set up in my bedroom. After about two months I decided it was time to show the girlfriend my hobby. Well…the look on her face when she saw my small collection was priceless. She exclaimed! " I thought only little boys played with trains" That night I did a lot of serious thinking about where this relationship was going. The final straw was when she brought over a friend and asked her if this was a normal thing for a guy my age to be doing. I dropped her real fast after that.
A couple of months later I ran into her friend. After talking for a bit I got the courage to ask her for a date. She said yes and I’m glad she did. She is very, very romantic girl, the simplest things mean the most to her, so for our two month anniversary I took her out to a fancy restaurant and after dinner she presented me the best gift ever, a custom painted and detailed Burlington Northern SD60MAC. I swore that night that I would never do anything to blow the relationship with this girl.
After 11 years together, 7 of them married, she is still supportive of my hobby. Good thing my first girlfriend brought her along that one night, lol
I think this all goes to show how important it is to be “compatable”. For many of us in the model train hobby, this is a significant part of who we are. Those of us who are hopefully self aware of our own interests and are not yet attached, we should make this part of our check list when dating or selecting a mate. It’s a “deal breaker” if they can’t accept part of who we are.
For those who got married without this consideration, that presents a dilmma. I guess its a situation where one has to cope with what they have. =( I can understand that we should be able to live with our spouse and come to compromises but to totally hate our hobby?
My wife once owned a craft shop. When I suggested I’d get back into trains she was very supportive. The only thing she ever complained about was the bridge connecting 2 sections of the layout that she had to climb under to do laundry. Simple enough, I shifted things around in the basement and now have a single section layout that she can walk around. Problem solved.
I’ll be married for 20 years in a few weeks. My wife doesn’t really say much about the trains except for “When is it going to be finished?” LOL. Of all my hobbies the only one she really likes to participate in is fishing, ATVing and anything to do with car shows. Sometimes she will work on my old car with me but she doesn’t show much interest in the trains or the slot cars. She tried racing slot cars with me but she kept getting frustrated with the car coming off the track. I kept telling her, just like in real life you need to slow down for the corners, lol. I’m lucky because she has never once complained on how much I spend on my hobbies.
My wife is supportive of all my hobbies. So long as I take time to do things with the family (we have young children), she doesn’t mind my hobbies as they help keep me sane. I have scaled down my hobbies so that they are not a drain on the family resources, so that is also a plus.
My last GF broke up with me because I made the mistake of bidding in an auction with her near me. She said I didn’t spend enough on her. So that would have been bad had it gone further.
My wife of 33 years is the best. She also helps on the layout doing scenery, painting, etc. She knows when I am getting new stuff or heading to the hobby shops, no shots fired, and generally supports the hobby. She goes to the conventions and meets with me, has helped at times with the women programming, and I am content and happy.
I didn’t get married until I was Forty. It took that long to find the right girl. When friends ask the question of should I marry so and so. I reply with, “the fact that you had to ask that question, is the answer to your question in my opinion”. It is better to be alone for the right reasons than married for the wrong ones. I know people who have gotten married because they didn’t have the Jam to break up or say no.
As far as supporting my hobby. Well I don’t think someone who didn’t, would come home with things like Atlas Gold Series Locos and pass them over my shoulder while I am sitting at the computer for no other reason than love and support. And she makes sure things fit my era to boot.
It took a while to find her, but there was no doubt in my mind, not even for a second that she was the one.
I’ve been married for just over five years now, and my wife is the best. [:)]
She has supported my love of trains and shares it to an extent, just as I support her in her hobbies (teddy bear collecting, mainly). She has come up with some ideas for modules for my modular club, and even has two trains of her own…a Wisconsin Central freight train and a Chicago Metra commuter train. [:)]
As far as hobby spending, she’s fine with it as long as we have enough money to cover the bills first.
My fiance has always been supportive of my hobby, to the extent that she’s told me the garage is my domain to do as I want with it. She’s not really that interested in the construction of it, but does enjoy seeing the finished product. She even brought her family to last year’s Brisbane model train show, which is the biggest one of the year. My mother-in-law-to-be is a former art teacher turned artist, and she’s willing to share her experience in that area with me as well.
I too am one of the lucky ones. My wife of 45yrs has been supportive of all of everything I do. Because of my work schedule, I really never had time for any type of hobby. Back in 1992 she said to me: Sam what are you going to do when you retire? I said good lord! That won’t be until 2008.She said I know but you should start thinking of something. Something like what I said. Well’ she said .when I was a young girl in high school my girl-friend Donna ask me if I would like to see something really cool, and I said sure. She brought me down her basement to show me her dads trains.That really something to see she said. I said ,TRAINS really? I love trains, I had a train set when I was a kid. She said you know we have that large space in the basement, so you really have the perfect place for it. Yes your right I do have the space. (it always helps to say, yes your right) Well that really got my juices flowing. I said I’m not going to wait till I retire. I want to start now. So back in 1992 I started my first layout. She backed me all the way, she always ask,any train shows this week-end, she loves train shows. She spends $$$ as well as I do She loves craft-men kits. She buys them, I build them. Yep I am a lucky one too. I’ll keep her for another 45 years
My wife is perfect. She doesn’t care what I do as long as it’s legal and it doesn’t involve……another woman. [^o)]Unless it’s the dog.
When we married she did not know of my plans. I did not have a layout and all my “stuff” was still at my parents house in the basement in boxes. Life got in the way quickly and the dream layout just kept getting put off. Fast forward to a few years ago. As I was moving things out of my Mom’s house, I discovered my boxes of trains and old 4X 8 layout propped up against the wall behind some plywood. The old fire was lit again and I hauled it all to “my room“ in the basement. I built the room when we finished the basement in the late 90‘s with the intention of it ending up a train room, which she knew, but again life just kept grinding and time slipped away.
Now, I have my room and I’m trudging away on the layout. She never says anything about the length of time I spend in the train room and even allowed me to remove a wall between my original train room and the son’s old room. All I had to say was “I wish I’d built my room bigger“. “You can take out the wall” she said between bites. “yes I suppose I could” I responded and casually did so about a week later.
She has purchased things for me in the past at the LHS with the help of the employees and an empty package from a turnout to make sure she got something that would fit. And THAT gentlemen, was a guess that worked out AOK. Also a good reason to never throw anything away[;)]. She also bought a couple of DP buildings that worked and a couple cars that, since I freelance, oddly enough will work also. She has not bought anything else other than at a garage sale she picked up an incredible amount of ballast, ground foam and most a box of Real Trees for like $10. She always keeps an eye out but rarely buys. She knows certain things will work an
My wife is perfect when it comes to my hobbies - she encourages my model railroad at home and the club, but has absolutely no desire to join in the modeling, which is just fine with me. She doesn’t begrudge me a penny and often “railfans” with me at cool museums or tourist lines. When it comes to my old cars, she loves to ride them and go to car shows, but doesn’t want to turn a wrench, which is also good. Gives us each some “me” time…
I also have a ex that hated my trains always said I made too much noise and woke the kids up. We said our goodbyes and I got the kids. Met another girl a few months later and dated for about 4 years she knew I liked trains but in the apartment there wasn’t too much room. I had my own business for over 30 years as a carpet installer and after we married we rented a house with a basement and I got started all over again,she said both of her uncles had trains Lionel and Ho. When I came home and went directly to the trains she knew I had a bad day and when I came back up it was all forgotten. She always went to the train shows and she collected beanie babies and dolls so that was our hobbies. When a Dr misdiagnosed her vitamin B12 for some thing else she is now disabled so I am now retired and we bought a ranch home with a large 32 x 52 basement and so I moved the laundry room upstairs and I have the entire basement that is 3/4 full of trains with 2 workrooms and a full bath. I also don’t drink or smoke and as she says she never has to worry where I am. She doesn’t say anything about the 100+ loco’s or the 700+ rolling stock ,I sit at the kitchen table and build and paint and do other repairs while she does her hobbies and paints bird houses and feeders for the back yard so I think I made the right choice the 2nd time around, after 35 years we still shop and look for deals to keep us both busy. Still having fun working on the railroad, Jim.
I don’t remember what her initial reaction was. But she didn’t mind when, during our first date, I stopped to take some pictures of a CSX train in downtown Pittsburgh. It wasn’t out of our way and we were already out of the car to go on the Incline.
Skipping a lot in the middle, on sunday she authorized the purchase of two more Walthers Superliners for my Capitol Limited I’m putting together. The first trip we took together was the Capitol Limited to DC.
I’m what my fiancee calls “permanently engaged.” [:)] We’ve been a couple for nearly 6 years, but we live an hour apart. She works long hours and travels a lot in her job, and I work from home which often consumes much of my time, too. Marriage just seems to keep getting pushed back.
She’s not into crafts or trains, and that’s fine. She never complains about them and she likes how she has gift ideas for me.
Some days I wish she was into them so we could do things together, but some days I’m glad to have my own thing… done as I want it done… with my own “alone time.” So, what we have works for us.