Post your corny/silly model railroad-related jokes here. I’ll start:
Q. What do you call a decoder-equipped locomotive that no longer runs?
A: DCCeased!
One of my favorites amongst our group:
What do model railroaders use for birth control?
Their personalities.
For the record, I have 2 kids and a great loooking wife. She is obviously very tolerant!
Regards,
Todd Arnett
Why can’t a steam engine sit down?
Because its got a tender behind!
(Corny enough for you?)
How many model railroaders does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Model railroaders really aren’t very funny.
Tyco? MRC?
Q: Why do HO steamers not usually have smoke?
A: Cause it comes out of the tender area.
That wouldn’t be funny if it weren’t so true [:D]
Not even close.
The actual answer is 100.
1 who actually changes the lightbulb.
90 who complain about the price of lightbulbs, how lightbulb manufacturers are gouging everybody and how they’re not going to play the lightbulb manufacturers’ game anymore.
5 who claim that you can make lightbulbs from common household materials for cheap.
3 who go off on a tangent and rail against MTH lightbulbs because they’re not all that compatible with everybody else’s lightbulb.
And finally, 1 who claims he knows everything there is to know about lightbulbs, their history, their eventual demise and who insists the golden age of lightbulbs ended with the second Eisenhower administration.
Andre
I seriously considered:
None. If you run your 16-volt bulbs at 12 volts, they will last forever,
or
None. Golden-White LEDs have prototypical colors, use less current and will not burn out in normal use.
Why did the geared locomotives never marry?
They were the only ones never coupled… Boy I crack myself up…
Why is that engine humming?
It doesn’t know the words.
What about the other 4 guys who have
1 never changed a lightbulb, but reckon your doing it all wrong and
2 say that lightbulb would be better in another colour and
3 have one at home that’s much better than yours
4 think that you should use bayonet not edison screw.
cheers
A can of worms may have been opened with the lightbulb issuses…
What about those who paint the LED or bulb to get a more prototypical color?
Old Smithy stood on the footplate of 3509, waiting for a fireman who did not show, it was late and he had to leave soon. He peered into the night gloom and saw a figure running his way. A young man came to the steps and offered his hand.
“Mr Smith, I’m Dennis, Mr. Jones is ill and the clerk sent me to fill in his roster.”
Smith just grunted and allowed the young man to enter his sanctum, then turned on him.
"Son…"He started around the chewing of his pipe stem. “No offence lad, but I never address anyone by their first name, so do you have a surname?” He spat a green wad out the side for emphasis.
“Ah, er Darling sir, Dennis Darling.”
Smith just stared at him. “Right Dennis it is then.” He pulled the steam whistle for even further evidence of his authority.
It shows how generous model railroaders are to make our particular brand of population control available to the general public with this thread… 
Dang I should have gotten into earlier…four kids
Teal’c from Stargate would say “Indeed”
Ray
Dale Evans gave Roy Rogers a pair of brand new boots for his birthday. They were fine boots, spiffy and white and Roy just loved 'em. He wore them everywhere, even when he was out tending to matters on the ranch. One day Roy had been out roping some cows and stepped in a cow patty or two so when he got home he took off his boots and left them on the front porch to air out.
Well it just so happened on that particular night there was a hungry mountain lion skulking around on the prowl who just happened to be in the vicinity of the ranch. As he was looking around for something to eat he looked up on the porch and saw Roy’s new boots. He thought they might be tasty so he went up on the porch and knawed on them for a bit to find out.
The next morning when Roy came out to put on his new boots he discovered them all chewed-up and knawed-on. He spotted the paw prints near by and immediately figured out what happened. So he hollered out to Dale he’d be back around sunset and then he grabbed his trusty Winchester and mounted up his faithful horse trigger and started out to track down that ole’ mountain lion.
Sure enough, he found the lion and killed it and slung it over his saddle and headed back to the ranch. As he was pulling up to the front he spotted Dale on the porch and waved. Dale called out, “Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”
Jack: “Didja hear about the Model Railroader who’s layout got trampled by a herd of buffalo?”
Fred: “No, what’s he doing now?”
Jack: “Remodeling.”
You know what you call the guy who steps off the train and onto the third rail?
Conductor.
Why was the Model Railroader tossed out of the party?
He spiked the punch.
(Found this one online)
Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when suddenly he got his foot caught under one of the railroad ties. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck. As he struggled to free his foot, he heard a noise and turned around. To his horror he saw a train coming.
Panicked he started to pray, ‘God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I’ll stop being bad!’
Nothing happened, his foot was still stuck. He looked up to see the train getting closer! He prayed again, ‘God, please get my foot out and I’ll stop swearing AND being bad!’
Still nothing his foot was wedged tight. The train was just seconds away! Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train’s horn blared.
He tried his plea one more time, ‘God, please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I’ll quit being bad, I’ll stop swearing, AND I’ll stop trying to look up little Mary’s dress.’
Just as the train was about to hit Johnny, his foot broke free and he fell backwards, the train narrowly missing him. He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said ‘Thanks anyway God, I got it myself.’