The addressee is a high-school girl who attends our church. I’ve sent this letter to her privately on Facebook (she’s a friend of a friend). I’m not posting any names here other than mine (some initials were changed as well). Did I say what needed to be said? I’m only sharing it in the hopes that someone might be able to think of what I may have missed–please don’t copy it. The two girls died four years apart, to the month.
Hi, N_____!
I haven’t seen you much lately, because I’ve been working days for the past four years and don’t get to church on Sunday mornings any more. I hope that changes when I retire, possibly later this year. Anyway I saw you briefly at the spaghetti dinner (as a very convincing Mary Poppins), and last Sunday night at the Church Auction. And I have to say, you’ve certainly grown up nicely. You always were cute; now you’re pretty besides!
But that’s not why I’m writing. My wife told me that Sunday morning you mentioned that the sister of a friend of yours was killed by a train recently. I looked at last week’s paper and found the obituary for E______ W______. Then I realized that her sister–your friend, I presume–had been killed by a train at close to the same spot several years ago. I can’t imagine what friends and family of both of these girls are going through. I also suspect that the feelings they hold toward the railroad aren’t very benign or friendly.
Well, N_____, I am an employee of that railroad. When E______'s sister was killed by a train, it was a friend of mine that had to drop what he was doing at the yard to go out and investigate. I know how it affected him, because his daughter was about the same age. I think about her whenever I go past the fencing along the tracks–it was her death that probably did more than anything to get people (the village, and the railroad) to build the sturdy fence that’s now there.
E_____'s sister’s death, as I remember it, was an accident. Did anyone know how much that tragedy had affected E
Carl, I do not think that I could have said it as well as you did. As I see it, you covered all the important points, especially the true source of help in such a situation.
Carl, that’s impressive, and I’m touched. I have to re-create my previous response without a whole lot of time, so please forgive the abrupt nature of some of these comments.
Basically, I like the tone and the first and last paragraphs. It’s the middle part that I have concerns about.
For context, consider the following - I didn’t have a clear understanding of some of this from what you wrote in your introduction, or the letter itself:
From your 2nd, 4th, and 5th paragraphs, I gather that R___ was killed by
She might not be aware that he works for that particular railroad. Aside from that, I agree with all of Paul’s comments. It is truly a touching letter.
Thanks, Paul, for your comments. By the time I had posted this, the letter had already been sent. I had a few misgivings, but Pat read it over before I hit the button. So far, no reaction from her, or her parents.
I’ve known who N_____ was for a long time, and watched her grow from a cute little girl to a middle-school student about four years ago. However, N_____ probably knows me only in passing. She’d have no reason to even miss my presence in church until I mentioned that, nor would she know that I worked for a railroad (her parents may know that, but it wouldn’t necessarily ring a bell for them).
You got the relationship correct. N____ was (presumably) a friend of R_____, who was killed four years ago. E____ is the recent victim. I haven’t dug into this enough to see whether she took her life on the exact anniversary or not.
According to my wife, N_____ just asked for prayers for the family of these two girls in church. Nothing more, except referring to the sister (R_____) as her friend (she didn’t even mentioned the sister being killed four years ago). They apparently had a lot of older siblings, but these two girls must have been very close in age. EDIT: I just dug a little deeper–they were in fact twins.
I’m not sure where E_____ met her demise, as the local paper didn’t report on this. However, if it was anywhere away from a grade crossing, she had to have worked at it, because a sturdy steel fence is in place along the right-of-way through the west half of Villa Park and the east portion of Lombard.
Thank you all for your comments and encouragement. I hope that my intent in sending this letter shows through the poor structure.
Very nice Carl, I totally agree with the guy’s. You stated all of the important facts with out going overboard. Of course our condolences go out to the families affected by the tragedy.
Regards,
Justin
Turns out that I apparently misunderstood my wife (wasn’t the first time; won’t be the last): N_____ was a friend of E_____, the girl who committed suicide this past month. That would make sense, since her twin died while they were in middle school, and N______, having gone to a different middle school, may not have known them then. She would have gotten to know E____ in high school.
The fence(s) along the tracks were the result of efforts by the father, after the death of R_____.