I was told today by a girl that I’ve been interested in for a while now that model railroading was one of the most boring hobbies on earth, and that we (model railroaders) go to so much trouble and expense just so we can sit and watch our trains go around and around the track… She said she could think of a lot of better ways to spend her time (yea, like at the mall blowing money shopping!..). She doesn’t like my dogs, guns or the Three Stooges either… I just wonder what kind of guy she’s looking for - if a guy at all… (Sorry, but I couldn’t resist saying that.) It’s too bad though because she’s really cute.
Oh well. There’s plenty more fish in the sea.
There are more important things than railroads, guns, etc. My wife thinks so, but she is willing to negotiate. Don’t give up until you know how well she negotiates.
Hi Chip. She said her dad was a model railroader when she was a kid, and that he spent all his time messing with his trians and layout, but little or no time with the family.
YOu must compromise if you are realy that interested in her. Not having any Idea of your ages, us old folks will take the wife, girl friend or mistress (not all 3 at the same time!) to a train show in a nice out of town location. You take her to the mall or movies or show and you then can go to the train show. expensive but simple.
You need to get an understanding of what she likes and then you can negotiate a plan to enjoy what she wants and what you want.
Now in my case it was simple my ex wife did not like trains or classic cars that is why she is the EX-WIFE!
My wife and I now have a great understanding about her and my hobby. She helps me paint the people and buildings and I help her redo the house or garden.
It is all in the plan of life.
Tracklayer, would it help to ask her, outright, if your passion for toy trains is a problem for her? You could approach the subject by acknowledging that a hobby that holds an intense interest could become a problem if it took up a lot of time, and that you would not be happy to find that you were allowing it to come between you and someone you care for very much. That would be an overt signal that you are A. alert to her concern since she has a history with the hobby, and B. that you value her friendship enough to be willing to temper your commitment somewhat. If she knows you can say those things with conviction, she knows that she will always count with you when “push comes to shove.”
No person, let alone a woman, wants to be saddled with someone who insists on having all things his/her way.
Just a thought. I hope you can salvage this if she is otherwise a keeper.
Some Woman are realy STUPID. What the hell do they know? At least we MEN have a Hobby. Some Woman need to get a life. If they even have one. That makes me realy MAD! [:(!]
What ?. You interested ?. Her name’s Kimberly, she’s 37, is divorced, has two kids (a boy and girl 7 and 10), works at a local bank, is very attractive and has longer fangs than any vampire I’ve ever seen if you know what I mean…
I admit that in her opinion, I’m probably very immature for being 42. So maybe it’s better things haven’t gone any farther than they have. I’m happy with my life just as it is-immaturity, trains, dogs, guns, Three Stooges and all!.
dosent like guns or trains, well then, i wouldnt give her the time of day, you gotta love guns, hunting and fishing and model railroading and trains in gneeral the big 4 in my life!!!
I started to get my wife intersested in model railroading (we’re 27 and 26 years old, by the way) by having her help on the scenery and such, as somthing we could do together in the evening. It was working great until I brought her to the hobby shop and spent $500 on one small bag of equipment. Now her only involvement in the hobby is to watch for new things to appear on the layout and ask how much they cost! ( lesson- never take your wife to a hobby shop if you plan on buying somthing more than $5.00)
Thanks anyway selector, but I think she brought all of this up because it was her way of saying we have nothing in common, and when I really think about it, we don’t… I wouldn’t be happy trying to live up to her standards. She’s looking for a guy that she can dominate and enslave, and I’m not going to be her boy… I really shouldn’t have said anything about any of this, but I was ticked off - still am.
37?.. Oh boy, hard to say with conviction but based on my past experiences, I hate to say but I dont think she’s gonna change for anyone in anyway whatsoever. Doesnt like ANY of your interests ? Very bad… It will end one of two ways, she dumps you because of your boring hobbies…or you will have to dump every interest you have and only do things she approves of…now who will be bored out of their minds, eh? Think about it… I see little chance to find a balance here if she’s as one sided as it sounds. I’ve been down a road like this in the deep dark past, if she’s not tolerent of your interests now, she never will be. I’m really surprised though that she doesnt consider your hobby a possible bridge to help with connecting with her kids, thats another big warning sign if she hasnt considered letting her kids get involved if they wanted to.
My wife has been tolerent of my hobbies, and PS, she doesnt care for the 3 stooges either but at least she doesnt mind me watching them.
Doesnt like dogs? Sheeesh![V]
PS PS just read the “dad” thing, Oh boy that really screws you…that really torpedoes keeping your hobby in any kind of relationship.