Railroad Jokes

I thought posting some jokes about railroads and railfanning would be a fun idea. Don’t worry, I’m not quitting my day job.

  1. Why did the railfan cross the road?
    A. To get onto public property. [(-D]

  2. Two guys are talking by the watter cooler, the first guy says: “I’m going on vacation tomorow.”
    “Oh, Where are you headed?” The second guy says
    “I’m going to Jamaica.”
    “Why Jamaica? I change trains there every day and it’s not all that nice.”[zzz]

I know you guys can come up with better stuff than this.

there are trains in Jamaica…?

Jamaica Queens is the LIRR’s major hub.

Now if you wont to be told a railroad joke go and ask a trucker or a railroad shipper.

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Trainorders.com

That one cracks me up all the time.

LOLOLOLOL…

Now THATS funny!!!

And remember kids…its only “Pennies a Day!”

i dont get it…

Union Pacific. . . [;)] 'nuff said. [:D]

A Southernism:

“He (she) was acting ugly enough to scare a freight train off the tracks and down a forest trail!”

Now that’s ugly behavior!

www.snakebites.org

i love their sense of humor. and no, i dont take them seriously like i used to with www.csx-sucks.com

ah i FOUND them. taken from www.snakebites.org and their hilarious newsletter. onward!

D: Cab stuffy
S: Opened window

D: Cab cold
S: Turned on heater

D: Cab hot
S: Heater turned off

D: Knuckle looks rusty
S: It’s supposed to look like that

Plenty of variants to those jokes…

Originally heard those jokes in an airline pilot context as in “#3 engine missing” followed by “#3 located on inboard position of starboard wing.” The person telling me that one didn’t get the “engine missing” thing and I explained it must have applied to the piston-engine days of rough running – doesn’t make any sense to describe a jet engine as “missing” because it doesn’t have piston pulses, although I have heard a loud bang come from the back of a DC-9 on one occasion.

I think the jokes work better as airline pilot jokes because pilots have a reputation for having a high opinion of themselves while I think of locomotive engineers as being regular guys who would go out for beer with the mechanical guys (am I right on this?)

yes i suppose that’s true. that’s what makes train engineers more fun to hang out with than pilots (aside from the ones who also go for a beer and know how to have a good time.)

Heard on the Neal Boorst radio program.

How can you spot a pilot at a party?

No problem; he’ll tell you!

Art

Here’s one for all the SPF (slobbering Pennsy fans):

The local railfan community is excited that SP 4449 is coming to town. One of them exclaims “4449 is coming to town!”

The SPF replies “What’s that?”

“It’s the Daylight GS-4.”

“I don’t understand”, retorts the SPF, “why everyone is so excited about a bloody GE 44 tonner!”

(On the PRR, 44 tonners were class GS-4.)

Why can’t an engineer be electrocuted?

Because he’s not a conductor…

D: Engine acting funny.

S: Engine warned to straighten up and act serious.

CANADIANPACIFIC2816

Conversation on New Jersey Transit:

Passenger: Is this the Little Silver Train?

Conductor: No Lady…its the big silver one…

Oldest railroad joke I know:

“Conductor, why have we stopped?”

“There are some cows on the track.”

10 minutes later:

“Conductor, why have we stopped this time?”

“We caught up with them cows again.”

(From On a Slow Train Through Arkansas, Thos. W jackson, late 1800s?)