Cruise-ship passenger to captain on the open sea in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean: “Is the water here at sea level” and “does the crew sleep on board”?
Train passenger to conductor: “How far apart are the mile markers”?
Must someone keep a straight face when hearing such questions or is one free to laugh? Is that the definition of a “stupid” question: one wants to laugh/smirk/guffaw in response?
Mark (who spelled “stupid” as “stupd” thrice before proofreading this message)
They DO say the only stupid question is the one not asked, and there ARE NO stupid questions.
But sometimes something just doesn’t dawn on somone as it should. WE call those “blonde moments” as in relation to “dumb blonde” jokes {and blondes are not the only ones who are often “inept”!} My other half is blonde and, although smart as a whip, often has "blonde moments! I have a natural blonde streak down the back of my head {I call it my “skunk stripe”}, SO naturally, I, too, can have a “blonde moment”. WE can say that about each other cause we “are one”!! [8D]
galaxy {who misspells and mistypes often and sometimes still doesn’t catch it on proofreading as is dyslexic so it can still look “noraml to me” when still not correct to the rest of the world}
I work at a detail shop , and right beside the shop is a carwash. A customer came up to me, and said…“if it comes out wet on this end (exit), and if it goes back through the wash backwards (exit to entrance), will it be dry at the other end?” [%-)]
“Only if they turn on the time warp. But then, It’ll still be dirty.” What you’d hear if the Green Dragon were to answer. (Green Dragon, aka Grandmaster Spacer Y. T. Carlsen, Galactic Coordinator 3714-)
There are no stupid questions - but there is no shortage of stupid people with questions. My all time favorite - “Does the whole train get to (end-of-the-line station) at the same time?”
All of which proves the wisdom of the old mechanic’s advice:
Make sure the brain is in operation before engaging mouth.
I worked for far too long in Ticket Offices at rail stations in central London. One of the most frequently asked questions was “Has the last train gone yet”? For some reason the response “Which one”? met with confusion or irritation. [%-)]
There were dozens of other regular questions that “lacked precision” and I’m delighted to say that I’ve been gone long enough to not recall so many. [:D]
Slightly differently I like the tail of the teacher who asked “little Jimmy” how he spelt “crocodile”. Little Jimmy said “k r o k o d i l e”.
Teacher said that was wrong and spelt out the conventional spelling.
Little Jimmy said “That’s how you spell it. You asked me how I spell it”.
Thinking back to the track I had an Inspector ask a signalman colleague if he wanted number 5 points (switch). Alf said no they could be taken out as soon as the Inspector liked. A couple of days later, after putting in a request for the points to be removed, the Inspector called him up and called him a few names. Alf objected: the Inspector had asked if he wanted them - not whether they were in regular and frequent use…
Mile (or kilometer) markers are approximately the stated distance apart, but may be offset to avoid roads, specialwork, bridges…
Or, that favorite of statisticians:
On Average, they are one mile (or kilometer) apart. On average, if you have one foot in supercooled ice and one foot in scalding water, your feet are at a comfortable temperature…
Chuck (Ex-statistician modeling Central Japan in September, 1964 - with scale kilometer posts approximately 2.5 meters apart)
I asked a Car Host yesterday at Diesel Days at the Museum why they put the steering wheel outside on the deck of the caboose??? He never did figure out what I was talking about. [:-^][:D]
At a place I used to work at we had a bad snow storm that closed down everything including work. The next day we were in the lunch room all comparing how much snow fell in our area.so we all came in around the 3’ mark one guy named Kenny who always had to out do everyone said thats nothing we had 36" down where I live, (Might right hand to go a true story)
Is that sort of like “We drive on a Parkway but we park on a driveway” or “Jumbo Shrimp” from George Carlin.
You can’t tell me there ar no self respecting rednecks out here who don’t know these words
I’ve worked at a copy shop for the past 14 years. I’ve had my share of “blonde” questions…
One college student came up to the window, saw that I had copiers in the room (which were running at the time), and asked “Do you make copies here?” I almost laughed in his face, but managed to keep a straight face as I replied, “No sir, we make furniture here.” His reply? “Oh, okay.” Then he walked off.
Another time, we were in the middle of a power failure, so we didn’t even have lights, much less copiers on. A girl walked up and got mad at us because we couldn’t copy her notes. I calmly handed her a piece of paper and a pencil and informed her that if she needed them quickly, she needed to start writing, because with no electricity, there was no way we could copy anything for her.