Would you believe..... (a little humor)

cherokee_woman · April 22, 2004, 12:28pm

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Thursday Humor Paper . . . . . . . [:)]

Southernisms

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you don’t “HAVE” them, – you “PITCH” them.

Only a true Southerner knows how much any fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up “a mess” (as in “a mess” of greens).

Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly. (generally pronounced dreckly)

All true Southerners, even babies, know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’)

Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far (pronounced “fur”)piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

Hey I can relate to these.

They forgot the B B Q baked beans. And Southern Fried Catfish is “to die for”.

And one last “item”, any of you Yankees ever deep fried a biscuit or roll? [:D] [:D] [:D]

Man does fried chicken and banana puddin’ sound GOOOOD: alon

vsmith · April 22, 2004, 5:26pm

Dont forget the Banana’s Foster for desert, Thank’yall

Mikeygaw · April 22, 2004, 7:10pm

Murphy’s Laws of Driving

You will be stuck on a one lane street behind a person who can barely see over the dash board who is goings 1/3 of the speed limit and in front someone who wants to go 3 times the speed limit.
The person in the left lane wants to make a right turn.
The person in the right lane wants to make a left turn.
The only person who uses a turn signal is the person who goes straight.
The roving construction crew sleeps until you are coming through
Every construction crew consists of a ratio of atleast 3:1 supervisors to workers
No one obeys speed limits… unless there’s a cop around.
No one ever hears the sirens.
When you are in a hurry, you will get every red light. When you are not in a hurry, you will get every green light.
The worst drivers are always seem to be around you.

dharmon · April 22, 2004, 7:23pm

Boiled custard.

dharmon · April 22, 2004, 7:25pm

Shahhhh…like I live in California…a car is nothing but a conveyance to move cell phones from one location to another sometimes with a person attached.

Anonymous · April 23, 2004, 1:31am

Finally Friday . . . . . . . [:p] [:p]

This one is good for Friday. You might want to “think” on this one for a while.

“Mother said read it or else.” [;)] [:D]

zardoz · April 23, 2004, 9:21am

Uhhh…I think we’re missing something here…

locomutt · April 23, 2004, 10:21am

zardoz,
just think about it for awhile;longer[:D]

Anonymous · April 23, 2004, 10:43am

Well I guess that is what I get for posting when I can’t see or think straight. lol [B)]

Too tired for my own good early this morning. No wonder I overslept today.

http://www.funnypop.com/jokes/wisdom.html

OK, there we go. (I am somewhat awake now, and have had at least one cup of coffee.) [;)]

zardoz · April 23, 2004, 10:48am

jhhtrainsplanes–
thanks for reposting. Locomutt had me feeling extra-dumb today. I kept coming back to your original, thinking, “What the heck am I missing?” [%-)]

locomutt · April 23, 2004, 11:49am

zarzoz,
sorry if I made you feel that way. If that’s the case,put me in the
same category. Think about that one for awhile.[:D]

I guess I just thought I knew what Jim posted.

Anonymous · April 24, 2004, 10:42am

Saturday’s Silly Season . . . . . . . [:p] [:p]

Well this is silly. [8D]

http://www.funnypop.com/pictures/showphoto.php?photo=37

JoeKoh · April 24, 2004, 3:51pm

Jim
I’ll give the dog a bone.
stay safe thanks
joe

cherokee_woman · April 24, 2004, 6:51pm

Now THAT’S what you call a BOXER

And Joe, please give the dog some food along with the bone.

JoeKoh · April 24, 2004, 7:47pm

after I let it out “who let the dogs out?” matt says “woof woof woof”
stay safe
Joe

Anonymous · April 25, 2004, 1:25am

Sunday Funnies. . . . . . . [:D] [:p] [:)]

Anyone want to go for a hike, stopping at the McDonalds first of course? Don’t forget the flashlight for finding the reflectors after dark, and for seeing all the spiders. And we don’t want any trails that go up the mountain. [;)] [}:)] [:p]

http://www.lukol.com/A.py?R=20040408,19TK

(Zardoz, I remembered the link this time. [:p] [;)] [:D] )

cherokee_woman · April 25, 2004, 6:47am

Good one Jim! Keep ‘em comin’.

tree68 · April 25, 2004, 7:42am

On the front of a T-shirt sent to me by my sister, a Colorado resident:

Pet the Elk
Feed the bears
Climb on the rocks
Pass on double yellow lines
Look at the scenery
instead of the road

We thank you for your support

Estes Park EMT

Anonymous · April 25, 2004, 11:19am

Hey!!!

Thats the Dog that stole my underware!

No. seriously…

Anonymous · April 25, 2004, 11:43am

. . . and his girlfriend got your yellow polka-dotted bikini [}:)] [:p] [;)]